I still don't believe he bought a physical copy of it, Hax Monster reviews Ride to Hell Retribution known at the worst game ever!

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: , , ,

Writing game reviews is always partly a matter of fact and partly a matter of opinion. One can surely argue a game’s quality based on subjective matters, like atmosphere and story. Sometimes, however, you can rely on objective matters to defend your point of view, which mostly has to do with the game’s functionality or originality. The latter is very much preferable, because you can make a way more certain case. I find myself in that comfortable position right now, reviewing Ride to Hell Retribution, also known as the worst game ever.

Abandon all hope ye who enter here. Know the face of the beast.

The quality of this game has reached such a low point that the amazement is less about how the developers could make such horrible mistakes and more about how no one apparently raised the question if perhaps this abomination should be cancelled to save developer Eutechnyx’s dignity. After all, it does not take a trained eye to discover the gullibility in the first minute of gameplay. 

Considering that this game is so bad that a standard reviewing structure won’t be very practical here, I decided the best way to review Ride to Hell was to first list the few things that the game did not do poorly, as well as the possibilities that the game had as a concept, after which I’ll list the most prominent failures. I can unfortunately not mention all of them, because my review’s reading time would outlast the game’s miserable runtime.

 This could of a way of exploring the desire for freedom but what we got was every horrible element from the life.

Firstly, the game had some good potential in the conceptual stages of development. Since there are not so many games set in the 1960’s and since a biker game could be cool it makes sense that the devs wanted to make something like that. Prior to release there was talk of Ride to Hell being an open world sandbox where you could explore the American motorways in a true biker-gang style. That would be awesome, for sure. Ride to Hell is no sandbox and offers no freedom, but if it had been that many would have appreciated it. It would have had an original setting and time period, as well as gameplay that would fit the setting well. 
And even though some will certainly disagree with me, there are a few things that the game does do well. Most of them are hard to spot because failures pile up on them like leaves during autumn, but in those little pieces you can see the shine of the diamond that was the concept. Most prominently, the game offers nice variation. The hub-based mission gameplay switches between biker-driving sections, sometimes intermixed with combat, melee combat sections and cover-based shooting. In between all of that you can spend time in the microscopic hub town where you can buy upgrades and modify your motorbike. 

 No Saints Row 3 but I see the possibilities.

Bike modification is the third bit the game did well. There are plenty of options and styles for your wheels and everything fits nicely into place. The final upside are the bright graphics, which make the world look colourful and pleasant. The graphics are by no means good, but the colour scheme gives everything a pleasant feel.

Now that we are done with the four only points that are in the slightest bit positive, let me give you an impression of the vastness of this abominable failure. 
Firstly, the game is hideously broken. Glitches are everywhere and often quite hilarious. On one occasion, I head shot an enemy which caused him to fly into the distance like an emptying balloon. Another enemy suddenly had his bottom half several meters away from his top half, while the two were still connected by a narrow little stretch of body. An animation that was meant to demonstrate a newly unlocked melee combo to me bugged after which my character, which was supposed to execute the combo, was standing inside the target of said combo. Ragdolls get stuck in either props or in the world geometry all the time. 

On another occasion, the unintuitive level design caused me to lose my way. Then a message came up saying that ‘all enemies in the area are dead’, meaning that I have no reason to loiter. For whatever reason that text never went away that mission. And some other time I switched from my dynamite sticks to my assault rifle, after which the dynamite model did not go away and got stuck in my rifle. 

Finally, the most important cutscene in the first half of the game has only half the sound effects it should have, and what should have been an exciting moment loses something if you hear nothing save the ambient noise of the environment. These are by far not all bugs, but hopefully this gives you some impression of how many there are. The weird thing is that this game is not broken in the same way as, say, Big Rigs over the Road Racing was, because you can play all the way through this without problems. Game breaking glitches are the only kind that Ride to Hell does not have. 
The next issue the game has is misogyny. To complete the stereotypical biker image seen In this game there has to be plenty of sex, the developers thought, so consequently you have sex with more than half of the members of the opposite sex you meet. Often such encounters take place when you find a lady, dressed in the most oversexed way possible, sexually harassed by a few men. Then you shoot all of them in the head after which you are rewarded with a rather unsettling show of the protagonist, Jake, rubbing his crotch against said lady while both are still fully clothed. 

Just look at their faces, it looks like both of them regret doing this.

Most of the times this take place less than half a meter away from the corpses of those harassing men you shot in the head a few seconds earlier. What makes it even weirder is that there are only four female models for about ten encounters, so it almost seems as if we come across the same women two or three times for whatever reason. None of this adds anything at all and solely exists to satisfy the three-year-old that came up with this stupid idea.

I mentioned that it was a good thing that occasionally there are some biking sections. It is nice that the game has them, but in all other respects they are a massive nuisance. Often these sequences mean you have to chase someone and in order to make sure you can always catch up with someone, your speed is always higher than that of your target. However, the game does not want you to get to him before the end of the sequence, so when you get too close the hand of god pushes your goal away from you with noticeable force. That kind of puppet-master interference should not be visible at all. 

 Why did this guy seeming explode into more blood than he can possible have?

What is most striking with the biking is how you die in them. You can fail them by crashing into things, but unlike a sensible game that would make the player die on impact, Ride to Hell takes a different approach. You can fail up to three times and every time you hit something, even if it is just a scrape, the game waits just long enough for you to think you can resume your drive and then fades the screen out. You are then restarted a hundred meters back. When this happens the third time you would think that you would just die and fail, right? Wrong. When you fail the last time, the game waits a few seconds again, then restarts you. Now however, you have no control over your character and the game pushes your bike into the ditch. You explode. You die. End. So rather than making you fail on its own, the game restarts you and makes you die again, as if to rub it in one more time, and the delay of a few seconds between hitting something is very annoying, because now the pace or the race is not only broken by your own crash, but also by the respawning which happens just when you have gotten back up to speed. And when you die, the game does not restart but brings you to the pause menu where every option except loading the save again is blocked. That is not particularly streamlined design,

The fact that Ride to Hell was released on PC almost seems like a mistake, considering that the ‘video’ tab in the options menu only lets you toggle subtitles and fullscreen and lets you adjust the brightness. Also, you are only allowed to select preset control setups, rather than being able to adjust everything freely. That is especially frustrating considering that standard controls are unintuitive and irritating to use. Most control options only relate to controllers anyway, considering that you can adjust sensitivity but not, say, whether you want to hold the mouse to aim or if you want to toggle aim with it. It is evident that, apart from the fullscreen option, the entire thing was just hauled over from the console port without adjustment. However, I don’t think graphical options would have added anything, because the game looks horrible anyway. Textures only load after one second of gameplay, the textures have a very low resolution and there are next to no effects. The only effects are blood, and that is overdone to the point that punching someone’s shoulder looks like you had a jam jar taped to your knuckles when you hit him.

If the earlier example wasn't enough for you.

Then there is the voice acting, which comes across as either completely disinterested or extremely overdone. Some enemies that are supposed to say angry or intimidating things while fighting you sound more like they express their annoyance over having spilled their coffee, while others groan out their lines like they are simultaneously passing a kidney stone. 
Then there is the melee combat. Although it is nice variation, the entire system is completely broken because the attack that is meant to just break the enemy’s block is the only one you need. That kicking attack breaks the enemy’s block, stops any attack they are executing and does damage as well. You can probably already tell that doing the can-can on anyone for a few seconds kills anyone without issue. You would be right, and you would probably not work at Eutechnyx. I played through an entire chapter, which is only melee combat, with just this attack and when the QTE’s came up I just rubbed over my keyboard randomly, as the game does not fail a quick-time-event if you press the wrong button. Beyond this there are unlockable combo’s, but their explanation was bugged up so I had not the faintest clue how to use them. Also there is a counter move which is about as overpowered as the kick attack, so the entire melee half of the game just ends up as a coffee break in between the driving and shooting.

 Obviously this guy hasn't discovered the wonder of kicks yet.
And shooting is a challenge indeed. Any sense of balance in this respect of the combat has been thrown out the window and was then run over by a truck carrying leaking barrels of nuclear waste. You have the choice, like in most games, to take out enemies with multiple body shots or one headshot. What is new here is that you would need fifteen shots to the chest, which mostly are three magazines, to kill anyone. Consequently I only killed two people that way, and that was just to count how much it would take. The frustration of headshotting is that whenever you make a headshot, or blow up an explodable barrel, the game goes into slow-motion bullet time for about a quarter of a second. I will admit that it was satisfying when I once managed to chain together a few headshots using this slow-motion period but the hundreds of other times it was just annoying. Usually the time window is way to short to be helpful, especially with explosions.
And there is more. Everyone has hair that looks like mashed paper and which often collides with their head or shoulders. The soundtrack consists of extremely repetitive tracks with always the same kind of horrible wailing for vocals. The reload animation for the gun turret looks like I’m waving my hand at some enemy as if I think I might know him. Every time a loading screen is complete the game waits for you to press the enter key, which always delays the load a few seconds because of that the message that the load is over is a bit hard to notice. 
So, Ride to Hell is bad. No surprise there, considering that it is already two years old by now. What is nice about it is that this game is the fun kind of bad. It is not like Big Rigs, which is bad because it outright does not work, but it is fun because of that it makes every bad decision it ever could make. I spent the first few hours of this game laughing at everything new I found and I don’t believe I ever laughed more. This is the kind of bad you just need to see, and unlike a game such as Goat Simulator this was not meant to be horrible and because of that Retribution takes itself seriously it just gets better and better. 

Steam took this title down, unfortunately, but if you can get it I would recommend that you try it. This might be a bad game, but if they changed the official genre from ‘action-adventure’ to ‘comedy’ it would have been a game of the year contender for sure.

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Chapter Master Update: Flow aka Streamline creates a development blog for C++ Interstellar Army Simulator.

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: , ,


 So its been a while since the last Chapter Master update but it good news everyone Flows C++ project has some updates, it now has its own development blog and links to the Marine editor.

Now don't expect this to suddenly sky rocket into a full game any time soon as Flows own post explains below:

Space Soldier Management Engine, An Introduction

What is this?

The primary focus of this blog is going to be my development of the Space Soldier Management Engine, development name "Superhuman Space Soldiers". For the benefit of having a complete set of lore, artwork and references to draw from, the initial version is going to be sampled on the Chapter Master game and will be based in the 40k universe.

Ultimately, however, I am creating a general engine here. Swapping out mods is going to be seamless and easy, and will allow for a variety of games including but not limited to European historical conflicts, the Age of Sail-based pirate adventures, far future sci-fi games, fantasy universe games and many more.

With that said, for the foreseeable future the engine will be created to serve the Chapter Master game's design goals, though will in all cases be mod-independent and documented as such.

This project will be undertaken between paid contract work and will therefore vary in speed of progress and inevitably take quite a while to make.

A Little Background

So you're probably wondering "Who even is this Streamline guy?". Well, I'm not going to delve into any personal details but I will say that I have been programming for several years, primarily focused around cross-platform desktop applications in C and C++. Like many programmers, I have dabbled in numerous languages to varying extents, but have a particular love for C++. I have been working as a freelance software developer for roughly two years and have completed a number of projects, most pertinently I am currently contracted to create another large scale strategy game, which I am unable to disclose many details about at this time.

With all of that said, I have no concerns about ability ot complexity of the project, the only determining factor for completing it will be time and motivation, as with all things.

So why blog?

Well, simply put, I need your help! This is a big project, and has lofty goals. The engine itself I can create all myself with no real issues, however there's more to a game than just an engine.

I have no artistic ability, little knowledge of the core game material - the 40K universe - and will inevitably need assisstance in testing, quality control and numberous other aspects. This blgo is intended to be a central repository of progress, knowledge about the engine/game, and to gather support and help in its creation. If you'd like to geti n touch for any reason or believe you'd be able to help out in any way - little or big - please e-mail me at cmggamedev@gmail.com

That's it for this post at least.
Peace out!

Meanwhile Journier and Thy are still working on the Game maker version of Chapter Master however Thy is current MIA and they are awaiting news from the programmer.

Duke has also emerged once more but with a new project, having learnt lessons from Chapter Master he is now working upon Towergirls.

Here is the description by Duke below:

Towergirls is a mix of JRPG and Grand Strategy. Create Sir or Lady Knight, and go on a quest to rescue the land of Corona from the depredations of the Dragon Queen and her Daughters! You must brave dungeons and towers against their vile minions and allies to rescue the princesses of various kingdoms. Once rescued, you may return them to their kingdoms for diplomatic benefits, or seek to befriend or even romance them to unite your kingdoms, even eventually marrying them! Then, use those connections to expand and unite the kingdoms of Corona in the face of the threats to come.

Characters you meet in the game become party members, ministers, or related to vital services of your Kingdom. Your Kingdom itself will advance both in terms of technology and infrastructure you build, but also in laws and culture due to decisions you make with the help of your advisers and princesses. In turn, you advance your own skills, either as a leader or an adventurer, to improve your abilities to rule and lead armies, or to fight your way through dungeons for treasure, rescues, and chivalry. 

More about Towergirls and a demo can be found over at:
The 12bay Forums.
The Towergirls Homepage
Dukes Patreon (Go Support It)

I hope this has been informative for you all, I for one am certainly looking forward to the progress of this year.

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Project Carefinder: Bringing Care Bears to Pathfinder.

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: , , , , , , ,

Greetings and Salutations I hope your all having a great start to April, this April fools I'm releasing a small project I've been working on with friends for the last two weeks, the video below covers a few points on design decisions I made and a very brief overview of the whole project.

(If Video is not visible it can be viewed here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lZuu0LU7zI)

Now I know that my blog format can be hard to read so I am posting two links below to download Carefinder v0.1:
Click here for PDF.
Click here for Word document. 

Now there is still a lot of work that needs to be done as well as formatting to make it all easily readable but constructive feedback is welcome.

Carefinder V0.1
Updated 01/04/2016


  1. Foreword
    1. How to use this supplement.
  2. Origins of the Care Bears and the Kingdom of Caring
  3. Creating a Care Bear and Care Bear Cousin
  4. Belly Badges, Feats and Class Archetypes
  5. Items
  6. Foes of the Care Bears

1. Foreword

Simply it began with a bet.
For some years now myself and my other half have been making friendly bets while playing pool, often these bets were who would buy the next drink, do chores and other similar silly little things. One of our favourite bets was the winner would pick the movie for our bad movie night where we would delve through the depths of NetFlixs, pick a movie and take it apart like an amateur MST3K.
This particular night on my birthday while browsing together we saw that the original Care Bears movie was available, initially creating a small drinking game as we watched the film my girlfriend uttered the words that would spur the creation of this document "I wonder what the damage on a Care Bear stare is?"
For the next week we found ourselves constantly going back and discussing how to stat and balance Care Bears for a short adventure in Pathfinder while making them thematically fit within the D20 settings.

I hope you all enjoy this and we would love to see some feedback and your own adventures.

Jason Silverain of The Sword and Torch Inn

1a. How to use this supplement

Carefinder is a supplement designed to be used in conjunction with the Pathfinder Core Rule Book and Bestiary in order to play, in addition it makes references to Spells available upon the Pathfinder SRD and provides hyperlinks were available.

2. Origins of the Care Bears and the Kingdom of Caring

There is not much known about the origins of the Care Bears and Care Bear Cousins, the current Care Bears and Cousin inhabitants of the Kingdom of Caring are descendants of refugees who brought no historical records of their homeland and were reluctant to speak of the disaster that drove them from it. This combined with the Care Bears tendency towards oral lore rather than creating written records has resulted in their history falling into folklore and legend, leaving much to speculation but there are certain details that remain the same in all accounts.
The original home of the Care Bears and Care Bear Cousins was a bountiful paradise without predators both natural and banditry, the Care Bears sustaining themselves as peaceful farmers within small villages and the Cousins living off the land. This small kingdom grew overtime as the villages expanded eventually joined together into a single thriving metropolis centred around a spectacular castle that sat upon a nearby mountain, its many spires towering into the sky. The relationship between the Care Bears and their Cousins at this time was somewhat strained, several Cousins becoming upset as the growing villages covered fields and forests were cut down to create them while the Care Bears were growing wary of the Cousins who lived solidarity lives within the wilds and did not understand the nuances of city life often causing disturbances in their rare visits.
It is perhaps this which made the original refugees reluctant to speak of their homeland fearing similar distrust would begin to appear in their new home, regardless of the reasons it is this distrust which caused the early warnings that something was wrong to be ignored.

It started slowly with various Care Bear Cousins going missing for weeks in advance, their Care Bear neighbours often not noticing or simply relieved that they were no longer visiting the town. Tensions rose amongst the Cousins some seeking friends suspecting the Care Bears knowing where their friends were while others simply retreated deeper into the wild areas of the land. Those Cousins who continued to visit began to mention strange sightings and animals leaving the area as if frightened with growing concern and while some Care Bears now began to pay attention and offer aid many others just didn't know how to respond. Their kingdom had never faced a real threat or emergency in their lifetimes and the large forum where the Care Bears held council was paralysed with indecision.
Then suddenly over a period of hours dozens of Cousins arrived at the city tired, scared and injured telling tales of horrible spiked and horned creatures, living evil shadows and a sorcerer of dark power slaying and destroying all in their path, hunting them down through the forests and wilds driving them towards the city. This warning was too late however as the shape-shifting sorcerer No Heart and his demonic allies fell upon the the kingdom that very night, the Care Bears and Cousins having no magic of their own and no weapons or army to speak of were thrown into a nightmare of chaos and carnage which very few escaped.

Two such survivors risked everything to rescue as many children as they could onto one of the few boats of the Kingdom, these two would later be known as True Heart Bear and Noble Heart Horse. Having stolen back the children from Dark Heart one of No Hearts lieutenants and another malefic shape-shifter who had wished to corrupt them they fled the enraged the powerful entity across the stormy ocean. However as the storm grew worse the ships mast was destroyed allowing Dark Heart to catch up with the escapees, it seemed that all hope was lost until the intervention of a powerful being (often speculated by scholars to be a Archon) known only to the Care Bears as the Great Wishing Star drove Dark Heart back. The Great Wishing Stars powerful magic lifted the damaged boat into the sky transforming it into the first Cloud Clipper as a rainbow beam plane shifted them all into what is known as the Kingdom of Caring.

It is the Great Wishing Star that granted these first Care Bears and Cousins the powers of the belly badge explaining to them that it was their immense love, caring and self sacrifice that drew his attention and that the Care Bears should spread that caring to the people of the material plane. In addition to ensure that the Care Bears and Cousins remembered this task a great Care Meter would stand in the Kingdom of Caring measuring the positive energy and emotions of the world within the material plane, should it ever drop too low the kingdom of Caring would begin to break down starting at its centre the Care Bears new home of Care-a-Lot and fracture until the plane itself would vanish.
True Heart Bear and Noble Heart Horse fulfilled their duties as best they could as they took care of the young children but the events of the past fresh in their minds and with the threat of Dark Heart still threatening them Noble Heart Horse eventually took the remaining Cousins from Care-a-Lot deeper into the Kingdom of Caring settling them in a land now known as the Forest of Feelings. It wouldn't be until several years later when the children had grown and eventually reunited that Dark Heart would re-emerge and be defeated and in the process redeemed.

However the malefic energy that once inhabited Dark Heart was not so easily destroyed, driven from its host it sought another and in the process was drawn back to No Heart and his forces. The years had not been kind to No Heart and his demonic allies, their presence having attracted the attention of powerful enemies and the very land itself reduced to desert by their actions they had found themselves forced back trapped in the ruined former castle of the Care Bears in siege. The dark energies whispered their secrets to No Heart informing him of the failure of his lieutenant and the Kingdom of Caring on which the Care Bears resided.
Surrounded by foes and untrustworthy minions No Heart decided on a plan, sending his forces out leading them to believe that they were to break the siege as he cast a great spell to destroy the enemy leaders he began a great incantation drawing upon his reserves of power. As his forces neared destruction and the castle about to be overrun the ritual was completed and the entire castle and most of the mountain was planeshifted into the Kingdom of Caring. This was at a great cost to himself however draining his powers to a fraction of their former strength and the very properties of the plane seemed to weaken and pain No Heart who became reliant on a magical amulet to ward of its effects. No Heart has since tried to destroy the remaining Care Bears and Cousins but with their new magic and purpose they driven him back time and time again forcing him to remain with the ruins of the castle.

3. Creating a Care Bear and Care Bear Cousin

Care Bears:
Physical Description: Care Bears are small humanoids which resemble small bears covered in soft fur, both males and females stand about 3 feet tall and are stocky which due to their fur appears to resemble a fat rather than muscular build. They can be any colour from pastel shades to brighter colours all over except for a while stomach and pale muzzle. There may occasionally be Care Bears with similar markings to a Panda but they still retain the white stomach. On the stomach a symbol (known as a belly badge) unique to each bear can be found. 
Society: From the outside the care bear society may seem focused upon solely fun and games however each bear or cousin spends considerable time each day training physical or mental skills through their daily tasks. Most activities are training wrapped up in a layer of whimsy including competitive sports, cross country races and talent contests though the bears often have parties and games in order to keep morale high amongst themselves.
Due to the nature of the training many young Bears may not realise they are training at all but the purpose of this training is to ensure that a Care Bear is in peak condition to respond to an emergency at anytime. Unless a task is vital to Care-a-Lot a Care Bear is willing to cease it at a moments notice if required to part in a mission to help others.

Relations: Care Bears try to spread a message of friendship and joy, however this can occasionally come across as preachy and naive. While some can find them annoying others can respect the amount of courage which these small creatures can exhibit. Care Bears are more likely to be friends with good or neutral aligned creatures though may try to make friends with evil aligned creatures to help them.
On the very rare occasion a care bear lives outside of the Kingdom of Caring they will feel most at home in stationary, small settlements as they are not used to city life. Some farming settlements may try to encourage a care bear to stay with them as rumour has it that a care bear brings good luck and increases the bounty of harvest in locations where they live.

Alignment and Religion: Care Bears do not worship a deity instead they follow concepts and try to embody a concept ideal at all times. Care Bears strive to instil their concept into others as well as use the concept to drive their own actions. Concepts include but are not limited to: love, hope, cheer, friendship.
Sometimes a bear may stray from one of these concepts but this is seen as a learning experience for all involved, if a bear or cousin becomes greedy or overly prideful they are expected to learn from it. Care Bears can fight and argue amongst themselves or with others, the act of fighting is not condoned as an evil action in itself but repeating such behaviour time and time again is against the Care Bears way of life.
Importantly Care Bears believe that many evil creatures can be redeemed, often giving someone a chance to learn or to surrender but once that offer is spurned all bets are off and foes often find themselves on the end of a mighty care bear stare.
A care bear who is exposed to the culture of other races may adopt good aligned gods which they share ideals with. Yolanda the Halfling God of home and family is very appealing to Care Bears.

Adventurers: In the beginning Care Bears and Cousins came from a completely peaceful society, adventurers were rare because there was no need to leave their idyllic homeland though wanderlust and desire for exploration drove these exceptional individuals.
However in recent times with the growing danger to what is left of their society and their new responsibilities some bears try to take a more pro active approach to defending themselves and others. Seeking to redeem or extinguish sources of evil while spreading Care Bears message of love and hope far and wide without waiting to be called.
However these Care Bears or cousins who become true adventurers are seldom understood within their wider society as some cannot abide by any violence even with the most pure of intentions. To some however becoming an adventurer is a natural extension to the Care Bears calling to help others but attitudes differ in how a care bear seeks to fulfil the calling.

Names: Care Bears and cousins tend to be named after an aspect of their personality or physical trait. This can sometimes be followed with heart such as with Tenderheart or the name of their species such as Grumpy bear. In some cases both heart and species may be used such as Swift Heart Rabbit or Brave heart Lion.
Names for Care Bears and care bear cousins are unisex and may be applied equally to either gender.

Standard Racial Traits
  • Ability Score Racial Traits: Care Bears are physically weaker than other races but surprisingly hardy and have strong personalities. They gain +2 Constitution, +2 Charisma, and –2 Strength.
  • Size: Care Bears are Small creatures and gain a +1 size bonus to their AC, a +1 size bonus on attack rolls, a –1 penalty to their CMB and CMD, and a +4 size bonus on Stealth checks.
  • Base Speed (Slow Speed): Care Bears have a base speed of 20 feet.
  • Type: Care Bears have the Outsider (native) type. Care Bears do not have Darkvision as standard ability.
  • Languages: Care Bears begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Care Bears with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Dwarven, Elven, Halfling, Gnome, and Goblin.

Defensive Racial Traits
  • Eternal Hope: Care Bears rarely lose hope and are always confident that even hopeless situations will work out. Care Bears with this racial trait receive a +2 racial bonus on saving throws against fear and despair effects. Once per day, after rolling a 1 on a d20, the Care Bears may re-roll and use the second result.
Magical Racial Traits
  • Belly Badge: Care Bears gain an Cantrip or Orison which can be cast at will as a spell-like ability. In addition Care Bears with Charisma scores of 11 or higher also gain the following spell-like abilities: 1/Day 2x First Level Spell, 1x Second Level spell.
These spell-like abilities are chosen at 1st level and cannot be changed, they may be chosen from both the Arcane or Divine spell lists but they must be linked thematically (See Belly Badges for examples.) The DC for these spells is equal to 10 + the spell's level + the Care Bears's Charisma modifier.
These spell-like abilities emanates from the image of the Belly Badge and cannot be used through armour and clothing unless the Belly Badge is exposed or the power is channelled through a Belly Badge Symbol.

Special Attacks
Care Bear Stare: A Care Bear has a once per day supernatural ability called a Care Bear Stare which is a rainbow beam that emanates from the Belly Badge and travels in a 40ft line striking all in the effect, the Care Bear Stare deals 2d6 hit points of damage plus Charisma modifier (Will Save half; DC 10 + 1/2 creature's HD + creature's Cha modifier, creatures that fail this save are also treated as been affected by the Colour Spray Spell.) This damage classes as magical and good aligned for damage reduction purposes and may be declared to be lethal or non lethal damage (before the dice are rolled), Care Bears are unaffected by the Care Bear Stare and take no damage.

The damage of a Care Bear Stare increases by 1 dice step per 4 Hit Dice so 2d8 at 4th level, 3d6 at 8th level, 3d8 at 12th level, 4d6 at 16th level and 4d8 at 20th level respectively.
As a Full Round Concentration Check a Care Bear can maintain the Stare safely for rounds up to 1 + Cha modifier after which the Care Bear must make Fort Saves (DC15 + additional rounds maintained) each round or become Exhausted and the Stare ends.

Finally the most powerful ability of the Care Bear Stare is its ability to be performed as a joint action, for this to occur two or more (to a maximum of 10) Care Bears or Care Bear Cousins must be within 5ft of another Bear taking part in the Stare, the target must be with their range and each member must ready their actions to perform a Care Bear Stare at the same time. Of the group a leader of the Stare is selected and are the basis upon the stares abilities are based, once selected this cannot be changed during the Stare. 
The Group Stare is handled similar to a normal stare with the following changes:
Area of Effect: Each Care Bear in the Stare projects a 40ft Line towards their target, additional targets may be hit if caught in the line.
Damage: The attack only damages on the Leaders turn with the damage calculation now been Leaders Stare Damage + Total HD of Bears in Group + Leaders Charisma modifier and the save DC is increased to Will Save half; DC 10 + 1/2 Leader's HD + number of Bears in Stare + Leader's Cha modifier.
Maintaining a Stare: All of the group roll Concentration Checks separately if they wish to maintain the stare, however if the leader fails the Concentration or Fortitude Check at any point the entire stare ends. Members of the group may chose to end their Stare at any time during their turn as a free action and the Stares effects are recalculated on the leader turn.
Example: Armoured Heart leads his 4 bear party in a Care Bear Stare against a troll which is threatening the villagers they are defending. Armoured Heart is 8th level with a Charisma of 18 but his fellow adventures are only 4th level so the possible damage would be: 3d6 + 20 + 4 unless the troll passed a Will Save DC 22 to half the damage.
While Armoured Heart can safely maintain the stare for 5 rounds if not interrupted his fighter companion Quickpaw Wolf can only do so for 2 so on his third turn rather than risking becoming exhausted Quickpaw Wolf decides to cease aiding the stare and charge the stunned troll.

Care Bear Cousins:
Physical Description: The cousins are related to Care Bears however each cousin resembles a humanoid animal with features of the animal it is based upon. Like Care Bears the cousins are covered in soft fur (or feathers in some cases) which varies in colour and they share the White belly with belly badge.
Like Care Bears the Cousins stand about 3 feet tall though the physical traits of a Care Bear Cousin depend highly on the animal it resembles and there little consistency within the species as a whole. While there are several Cousins that have resemblance to flightless birds such as penguins there are no Cousins which can fly, likewise there are also no completely aquatic animal Care Bear Cousins.

Society: Care Bear Cousins living with Care Bears have nearly the same social structure and day to day life as their close kin, Care Bear Cousins living in the Forest of Feelings however have nearly no society to speak of, living independently and grouping together only for companionship and games. This lifetime of foraging and exploring does make them physically stronger and robust if usually less educated than the Care Bears.

Relations: Many races simply treat the Care Bear Cousins the same as they would treat Care Bears though the Cousins own views differ slightly from their kin though this is partially dependant on their animal resemblance with Cousins that resemble carnivores more likely to act aggressively if threatened and even responding with violence if needed. 
Alignment and Religion: Whilst sharing many beliefs with Care Bears, Cousins tend to focus towards physical concepts with a beneficiary goal or self improvement, it is not uncommon to find a Cousin focusing on trying to be the strongest or fastest with a desire to protect others or trying to instil self confidence in others.
True to their nature and upbringing Cousins tend to act impulsively on their gut feelings, often dashing forward to help or defend others before assessing a situation. They are also less reluctant about using force to achieve these aims when face with obviously unnatural foes such as Undead or Demons with Cousins that resemble carnivores more likely to lead a charge with the nearest weapon to hand.

Adventurers: Cousins are more likely to become adventurers than their Care Bear Kin either through their own actions or joining a fellow adventuring Care Bear or Cousin. More often than not they tend to fall into the more physical roles of such groups such as Fighters but this is no means definite each cousins traits are unquie.

Standard Racial Traits
  • Ability Score Racial Traits: Care Bear Cousins are varied and versatile and may have any number of physical traits depending on their animal form. They gain a +2 bonus to any two characteristics.
  • Size: Care Bear Cousins are Small creatures and gain a +1 size bonus to their AC, a +1 size bonus on attack rolls, a –1 penalty to their CMB and CMD, and a +4 size bonus on Stealth checks.
  • Base Speed (Slow Speed): Care Bear Cousins have a base speed of 20 feet.
  • Type: Care Bear Cousins have the Outsider (native) type. Care Bears Cousins do not have Darkvision as standard ability.
  • Languages: Care Bear Cousins begin play speaking Common and Celestial. Care Bear Cousins with high Intelligence scores can choose from the following: Dwarven, Elven, Halfling, Gnome, and Goblin.

Magical Racial Traits
  • Lesser Belly Badge: Care Bear Cousins gain an Cantrip or Orison which can be cast at will as a spell-like ability.
The DC for these spells is equal to 10 + the spell's level + the Care Bear Cousin's Charisma modifier.
These spell-like abilities emanates from the image of the Belly Badge and cannot be used through armour and clothing unless the Belly Badge is exposed or the power is channelled through a Belly Badge Symbol.

Special Attacks
Care Bear Stare: See Above, Cousins often refer to this as the Cousin Call.

Other Traits
Due to their unusual variation Care Bear Cousin may select up to two of the following abilities based upon the animal they resemble:

Movement Traits
Climb: gain a 20ft climb speed and +8 to Climb skill.
Swim: gain a 20 ft swim speed and +8 to swim skill.
Fast: gain + 10 ft to all movement types. 
Sense Traits
Low light vision
Dark vision 60ft
Body and other Traits
Natural armour +1 (cannot be taken twice).  
Energy resistance: 5 Cold (For animals who live in cold environments).
Energy resistance: 5 Fire (For animals who live in very hot environments). 

Terrifying Cry/Roar: Members of this race gain the following supernatural ability: Once per hour as a standard action, a member of this race can emit a thunderous croak. Any creature not of its subtype (if humanoid) or type (if another race type) must make a successful Will saving throw (DC 10 + 1/2 the user's character level + the user's Charisma modifier) or become shaken for 1d4 rounds. A target that successfully saves cannot be affected by the user's terrifying croak for 24 hours. Creatures that are already shaken become frightened for 1d4 rounds instead. This is a sonic, mind-affecting effect. 
Natural attack: Additional suitable types can be additionally selected. 
Natural Attack Type
Damage Type
Attack type
B, P, and S
B and S
Hoof, Tentacle, Wing
Pincers, Tail Slap
B, P, or S

Prehensile Tail: This Cousin has a long, flexible tail that she can use to carry objects. She cannot wield weapons with her tail, but the tail allows her to retrieve a small, stowed object carried on her person as a swift action. 

Lucky: +1 to all saving throws.
Existing cousins examples of these abilities:
Brave Heart Lion: Terrifying Roar and Claws.
Cozy Heart Penguin: Swim Speed and Energy Resistance: 5 Cold.
Bright Heart Raccoon: Dark Vision and Natural Armour +1 
Lotsa Heart Elephant: Terrifying Roar and Prehensile Tail (applied to trunk). 

Swift Heart Rabbit: Fast and Lucky

Table: Random Starting Ages for Care Bears and Care Bear Cousins
100 years
+4d6 years
(104 - 124 years)
+6d6 years
(106 – 136 years)
+10d6 years
(110 - 160 years)
1 This category includes barbarians, oracles, rogues, and sorcerers.
2 This category includes bards, cavaliers, fighters, gunslingers, paladins, rangers, summoners, and witches.
3 This category includes alchemists, clerics, druids, inquisitors, magi, monks, and wizards.

Table: Random Height and Weight for Care Bears and Care Bear Cousins
Base Height
Height Modifier
Base Weight
Weight Modifier
2 ft. 8 in.
+2d4 in.
(2 ft. 10 in. - 3 ft. 4 in.)
30 lbs.
+(2d4 lbs.)
(32 - 38 lbs.)
2 ft. 6 in.
+2d4 in.
(2 ft. 8 in. - 3 ft. 2 in.)
25 lbs.
+(2d4 lbs.)
(27 - 33 lbs.)

Care Bears in the World

Relationships with other races:

Elves attitudes towards Care Bear like their attitude towards other races is somewhat dismissive and have in first encounters considered Care Bears as nothing more than magical animals, a bemusing curiousity but nothing more. While recognising the Care Bears innate magical abilities they are often view as little more than parlour tricks by Elven Wizards, it is only the Care Bear Stare that is worth some praise and respect in their eyes.
Similarly active and impulsive nature of the Care Bears way of life is admired for its energy but regarded more nothing more than just fun and games, in spite of this in the rare case of Care Bears/Cousins settling down nearby they are often welcome as due to their similar lifespans and are consider excellent nursemaids and child carers.
Care Bears often have a hard enough time understanding when one of their own kind needs time alone so when faced with the naturally private and reserved nature of Elves they find it overly suspicious and stand offish.

Dwarves tend to find Care Bears frivolous and flighty, too easy to celebrate and at a glance unable to endure the hardships of life outside of their own realm, while the dwarves find the Care Bears ability to craft cloud unique it is viewed as impractical and delicate compared to their own prefer crafts and frowned upon for relying more on magic than actual crafting skill.
Care Bears meanwhile find dwarves rather dour, too ready to focus on the negative aspects of events around them and disprove of their habit of holding grudges. Often though if a individual Dwarf and a Care Bear spend some time together curious friendships may arise due their mutual focus upon loyalty, bravery and greater understanding, a Dwarf may realise that the Care Bears routine is in fact dedicated training while a Care Bear may to appreciate the work hard, play hard ethic of many Dwarfs.
Dwarves are more likely to get along with Care Bears of the adventuring variety because of their determination and dedication to their cause which commands respect and to Dwarves is a sign of the Care Bears growing up to face the hard realities of life.

Gnomes the curious and whimsical creatures they are often find Care Bears fascinating due to their vast differences from the other civilised races both physically and socially, the two races share common ground in their activity and drive making it easy for them to get along though they do have their differences.
When faced with a Gnomes reckless behaviour or a seemingly malicious prank Care Bears will often chastise the Gnome like an older sibling talking to a child and if the pair are together long enough a Care Bear will often place themselves in a guardian (though some would use the term babysitter) role for the gnome. For their part most Gnomes are both delighted and frustrated by this strange relationship, enjoying the friendship and companionship but feeling the Care Bears need to lighten up and be less of a stick in the mud.

Half Elves
Half Elves are natural diplomats but tend to be more subtle than a Care Bears method. On the whole they find Care Bears brash and impulsive, lacking subtlety and seemingly never being able to see the bigger picture being so focused on their smaller goals. Care Bears see the half elves as outcasts and wish to share camaraderie and kindness but only occasionally does this turn out well, many Half Elves feel that the offer of friendship while not unwelcome is insincere at its core and more the product of the the Care Bears social beliefs than a actual personal desire to be friends.
This can lead to a difficult personal relationship between a Half Elf and a Care Bear as the Half Elf attempts to push the Care Bear away the Care Bear sees the Half Elf more in need than ever redoubling their efforts.

Half Orcs
Half Orcs raised in Orc society may scorn Care Bears finding small and weak, however they seems to pose no threat and may be tolerated at first even kept around because they are entertaining at the very least. Half Orcs raised in human society may appreciate a Care Bears genuine friendship and ability to look past their differences. This is something the Half Orc rarely finds in human society so if they find a good friend in a Care Bear they may become protective of the little ones until the care bear or cousin proves their strength against foes. 

There's much a gentle Halfling society and Care Bears have in common. Care Bears appreciate Halfling cooking and music as well as their strong family bonds. They even recognise the need for stealth and secrecy in both races, though Halflings tendancy to do what ever is required to survive including stealing and dishonesty can cause some friction between the two races. Care Bears can sometimes mistake a halfling for a human child something which a halfling may find annoying or use to their advantage. 

Care Bears understand how different humans can be, as they believe that within the human race can be found the biggest of hearts but also the greatest depths of evil. As a result they are drawn to humans more than any other race, sometimes acting as protectors for them hoping to sway their hearts to the side of good rather than the evil they can become. 

Ponies from PonyFinder
Care Bears get along with ponies as they share many of the same core beliefs in love, friendship and harmony. They are both magical races and have much to learn from one another. However they differ slightly in their system of marking. A care bear can sometimes wrongly assume that a blank flanked pony is very very young and treat them as such, much to a filly or foals annoyance.
Likewise ponies sometimes assume a bear or cousin with a belly badge must have mastered the ability to earn it, not understanding that a bear will gain powers some time after the badge appears. Some unicorn scholars have tried to understand and master the art of a care bear stare, legend has it that the stare and the powers of harmony can be combined however there is no solid evidence beyond old tales.

4. Belly Badges, Feats and Class Archetypes

Belly Badges
Care Bears and Cousins in Care-a-Lot are usually born with Belly badges or gain them very early on in development, however it is not until the bears are nearing adulthood that they may find out the meaning of the badge or what power it bestows on the bear though it may manifest early under great pressure.
It is possible however for Care Bears and Cousins to not develop their badges (though this a more common occurrence in the less magically inclined Cousins) in these situations belly badges need to be bestowed upon a Care Bear by another Care Bear with a belly badge.
A bear with no badge may feel some shame in not having one, it can be noted that badge-less bears may hide this fact by drawing on a badge or using other magical means to fake the presence of a belly badge.
A badge may be based on the temperament, personality, prominent physical attribute or a skill of the Bear/Cousin or more related to the power it bestows, badges are rarely direct representations and are more abstract images however often a belly badge is very important to the personal identity of the Bear/Cousin. As a result they normally do not wear clothing which covers it, if required to wear clothing which would obscure the mark such as a raincoat or armour it will generally have the bears mark upon it in the general belly location as a Belly Badge Symbol. which they can use their powers through.
It can be assumed that if Care Bears make armour for themselves or others that it would also bear the mark of the one who is to wear it.

Power Concept: Each badge has an overarching concept which reflects the care bears personality or special talent, several bears may share similar powers with different concepts.
Here is a suggestion of concepts, bear attitudes or badge themes which could be compatible with these powers. Badges are never a direct representation of the powers within so feel free to take some creative leeway matching a badge to a set of powers.
In no way are these examples definite, feel free to create your own or to mix and match spells appropriate to your concept.

Power Concept: Sun/Light/Fiery Personality.
Typical Badge Appearance: A stylised sun, a lantern, flames.
Cantrip: Light or Dancing Lights

Power Concept: Music, Boisterousness.
Typical Badge Appearance: Musical notes, instruments, megaphone/horn.

Power Concept: Adventure, Exploration, Travel.
Typical Badge Appearance: Map, telescope, a pair of boots.
Cantrip: Light or Know Direction.


Improved Belly Badge
Prerequisites: Belly Badge or Lesser Belly Badge Racial ability.
You may use your Belly Badge abilities an additional once per day, this feat can be taken repeatedly. A Care Bear Cousin taking this feat for the first time gains full Belly Badge abilities as listed under the Belly Badge description.

Greater Belly Badge
Prerequisites: Improved Belly Badge.
You gain a 3rd level spell as a 1/day spell-like ability, this may be chosen from both the Arcane or Divine spell lists but must be linked thematically with existing abilities.

Care Bear Stare Feats
It should be noted that all additional/alternative effects caused by Stare Feats continue for the duration that the Care Bear Stare is maintained, when Stare ends the additional effect duration dice is then rolled.

Barrier Rainbow
Prerequisites: Care Bear Stare Racial ability.
When using a Care Bear Stare you can choose to create 10ft by 10ft vertical plane of rainbow energy instead of producing its normal effects. The opaque wall's endpoint begins at any corner of your square and extends in a straight line for 10ft or until it contacts a solid surface.
This wall lasts for 1d4 rounds and any creatures passing through the wall take damage equal to that normally dealt by the Stare, a successful Reflex save ( DC 10 + 1/2 casters HD + casters Cha modifier) halves this damage. If you create the wall so it appears where creatures are they take damage as if they had walked through the wall and may make a Reflex save.

Barrier Rainbow Improved
Prerequisites: Care Bear Stare Racial ability. Barrier Rainbow.
When using a Care Bear Stare you can choose to create a plane of rainbow energy instead of producing its normal effects
This wall lasts for 1 minute/level treating the Care Bears Hit Dice as it caster level, the wall is 1 inch thick per four caster levels and composed of up to one 5-foot square per level. You can double the wall's area by halving its thickness but in either case the wall's endpoint begins at any corner of your square.
Each 5-foot square of the wall has hardness 8 and 15 hit points per inch of thickness. A section of wall whose hit points drop to 0 is breached. If a creature tries to break through the wall with a single attack, the DC for the Strength check is 20 + 2 per inch of thickness.
The wall cannot be conjured so that it occupies the same space as a creature or another object.
You can create a Rainbow Barrier in almost any shape you desire. The wall created need not be vertical, nor rest upon any firm foundation, however if it does not merge with or is solidly supported by existing earth or structures then a single point of damage to the wall will cause the entire wall to fracture and vanish.
It is possible, but difficult, to trap mobile opponents within or under a Rainbow Barrier provided the wall is shaped so it can hold the creatures. Creatures can avoid entrapment with successful Reflex saves.

Bludgeoning Blast
Prerequisites: Care Bear Stare Racial ability.
As part of a Care Bear Stare you may make a ranged Bull Rush attempts against all creatures within the effect of the Stare, for determining CMB Charisma is used instead of Strength and the Stare is treated as a Large size creature (+1). If you are a leader of a group Care Bear Stare when using this effect then for every additional member within the group that has this feat treat the Stare as a size category larger (to the maximum of colossal) when determining CMB.

Care Conductor
Prerequisites: Care Bear Stare Racial ability. Leadership Feat, Level 12
When acting as Leader of a Care Bear Stare additional Care Bears/Cousins equal to your Hit Dice + Charisma Modifier may aid in your Stare.
Normal: A Care Bear Stare has a maximum of 10 Care Bears/Cousins in a Group.

Entangling Rainbow
Prerequisites: Care Bear Stare Racial ability.
When using a Care Bear Stare you can choose to enmesh all creatures in its area instead of producing its normal effects. Your Stare deals half its normal dice damage however any creature that takes damage from your Stare becomes entangled an additional 1d6 damage each round at the start of your turn. This effect lasts for 1d4 rounds.

Extra Stare
Prerequisites: Care Bear Stare Racial ability.
You may use your Care Bear Stare an additional once per day, this feat can be taken repeatedly.

Redeeming Rainbow
Prerequisites: Care Bear Stare Racial ability. Level 4
When using a Care Bear Stare you can choose to mimic the effects of Charm Monster to all creatures in its area instead of producing its normal effects. This effect last for 1d4 rounds and the Will Save DC to resist this effect is equal to that of the Care Bear Stare.

Class Archetypes

Care Crusader (Paladin Archetype)
Care Bear Countdown, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Care Bear Stare.”

Rather than linking with a divine creature or spirit a Care Crusader focuses inward upon the innate abilities of the Care Bear Family, channelling the Care Bear Stare to devastating effect.

Stare Focus: At 5th level and every 3 levels after the Care Crusader gain a bonus feat, this feat must be selected from the Care Bear Stare feat list or a Channelling feat. At 10th level the Care Crusader adds his Charisma modifier to the rolls when determining the duration of Stare effects.
This replaces divine bond

Wellspring of Hope: At 3rd level Care Crusader with the Eternal Hope racial ability adds the +2 racial bonus on saving throws against fear and despair effects to the existing bonus granted to allies within 10ft by Aura of Courage.

5. Items

With many of their needs of life supplied by the Kingdom of Caring Care Bears and Care Bear Cousins do not have the same priorities and views towards crafting and creating as other races, Care Bears/cousins tend to focus on artistic crafts such as painting and sewing, horticulture or personal culinary skills. The few Care Bears\Cousins that focus beyond these areas are usually driven individuals often exploring and weaving the very cloud stuff that makes up their plane and are regarded as strange or reclusive by their fellows.

New Materials:
Cloud Matter:

Mundane Items:
Belly Badge Symbol: An embroidered or embossed precise replica of the intended recipients Belly Badge these are typically worn as a tabard or created as part as a item of clothing/armour that may obscure a Care Bear\Cousins Belly Badge.
A Belly Badge Symbol allows a Care Bear\Cousin to channel their Belly Badge powers or a Care Bear Stare through the symbol, a Belly Badge Symbol must be the same shape and size as the Care Bears Belly Badge and requires be worn for at least 24 hours over a period of a week to begin working. While simply staining or minor tears will not stop its effects significant damage such as burning or acid damage can render a Belly Badge Symbol ineffective.
Beginning Care Bear\Cousins characters may begin play with a Belly Badge Symbol on their armour or a item of clothing for free. Price: 25gp.

Magical Items:

6. Foes of the Care Bears
Due to the mission given to them by the Great Wishing Star the Care Bears are no longer simple bystanders and even the Care Bears who are not adventurers risk their lives on the material plane against a multiple of foes in their desire to do good.
Traditional Pathfinder foes:
Dark Folk: When children have been snatched in the night or a town left frightened by these sinister folk Care Bears have driven them from the streets and pursued them in the the depths of the earth. The Care Bears and Dark Folk have clashed time and time again with neither side ever understanding the motives of the ofther.
Demons and Devils: Very rarely encountered these are one of the Care Bears most dangerous foes often causing problems by proxy before they are discovered as its source. Thankfully the power of the Care Bear Stare is unbearable to these creatures often driving them from an area if not able to destroy them completely.
Fey: Care Bears encounters with the fey can be summarised in a word: unpredictable. Many good aligned fey are charmed by the kind nature of the Care Bears but even then may be reluctant to release a lost child from their spells or to cease action against a mortal who has angered them. A fey who seems friendly may suddenly become hostile because of a unknown slight or enraged fey may be calmed with a simple apology, as a result many Care Bears find such dealings exhausting.
Goblinoids: Prolifically spread throughout the dark places of the world Goblinoids are the most commonly encounter of the Care Bears monstrous foes. Many Care Bears treat simple goblins like naughty uneducated children or simple minions of evil and have on numerous occasions attempted the redemption of individual goblins to varying degrees of success.
Hobgoblins are encounter less regularly and more often than not a direct encounter with these warlike creatures is avoided with Care Bears attempting stealth and trickery to release slaves than risk force. The lone BugBears however are a foe that all Care Bears attempt to exterminate whenever possible as their desire to cause maximum pain, fear and suffering to all living creatures is everything they stand against, likewise BugBears when face with a Care Bear will try their best to both physically and mentally break down the small creature's often dragging out an encounter stalking a chosen prey or refusing to deal a finishing blow to build as much terror as possible.
Undead: While the undead are often foes to all living creatures in particular Wraths, Wights and spectres are viewed as the most dangerous amongst them as their malevolent anger fuelled personalities that seek death and destruction of all life and light are beyond negotiation. Destruction of such creatures is seen simply allowing a tortured spirit to move on and dismissing a dangerous hazard from the world.

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