Greentext: Tales of Chappa Fliks: Parts 5 and 6, Borderline TPKs and 80's Hacking Montages.
Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: Homebrew, Only War (40k), Savage Worlds, Star Wars, Update
Part 5: Heroic Sacrifices and Percussive Warp Core Maintenance
> Beginning a little earlier than normal the group having gotten used to the interface of Fantasy Grounds.
> we began to delve to some its other features, after the Dark Eldars plotting none of us wanted to be at a disadvantage in the future.
> Of course the fact that most players had chosen rather verbose names made the whispering feature a pain to use so some of the players gave up on it turning back to steam chat.
> myself and the Jedi Player with sensible character names were doing fine.
> Having been forced to miss a week we quickly recapped the key moments of the last session:
> Chappa and the Jedi has commandeered the salvage vessel, managing to pacify or intimidate most of the skeleton crew that was on board into following their orders and had managed to put good distance between themselves and the shipyard.
> The Jedi's contact a defecting Imperial Intelligence officer was also safely aboard the vessel and needed to be taken to the rebels as soon as possible due to important information she knows.
> Party is current having bets between Hive Fleet, Death Star, or a Imperial Crusade incoming.
> Salvage Ship now confirmed by the Gm to be a CR90 Corvette with most of the weapons stripped leaving just its main two turrets but it does have extra room in cargo and docking because of this.
> Tau who originally was going to board the Corvette has taken control of near 50 servo drones that are designed to break down debris and has order them to start stripping down the space station.
> He is now currently in a Imperial shuttle which is slightly damaged due to poor piloting.
> The Space Stations Warp Core has been ejected and thanks to some hacking by the Dark Eldar has had its stable orbit broken.
> It is drifting at increasing velocity towards the Imperial Naval Space Docks where two Star Destroyers are docked undergoing maintenance.
> Should the Station and Docks collide their orbits would decay and the wreckage from them could kill millions and may even cause an impact event .
> On a side note most of the tannoys and screens within the Space Station are still showing ads for Mr T'Orks weapons business.
> The Dark Eldar, Bounty Hunter and Mr T'Ork were now currently drifting through space clinging onto the shielding of the Warp Core and no one else in the party knew this.
> Ewok and Jedi confirm our ship was away from the wreckage.
> Chappa points out that no one has said where they needed to go and hasn't a clue, Jedi fails knowledge roll on local surrounding systems.
> Intelligence Officer tries to interject but is distracted by panicking bridge crew.
> Radio Tau who also fails and doesn't care as long as they are away from this place.
> Hyper driving in a random direction seems colossally stupid.
> Roll contacts to see if I know any rebel hideouts nearby.
> Roll 5.. a pass there's a small rebel resupply safehouse in a nearby system on a old mined out moon.
> Inform the Jedi that's where I'm planning on going until Intelligence Officer states that was her idea too.
> ORLY.png
> If the defecting Intelligence Officer knows about it then its most likely in Imperial records.
> Roll another contacts roll at penalty for a different location.
> Realising that I require a dice explosion to pass.
> Dice Explosion... the dice gods are feeling kind, secretly changed co-ordinates to a location of a minor contact.
> Can actually hear the GM's twitch as he now realises he has to think of different plot for next sessions.
> Chappa broke out of jail by himself, saved a Tau from been killed, is the only pilot and has now stopped predictable ambush.
> Must admit feeling a little smug, predict that dice will smite me later.
> Jedi keeps bridge crew from panicking as increasingly surly Ewok starts pressing important buttons.
> Meanwhile all hell begins to break lose at the shipyard.
> Apparently only one of the Star Destroyers has more than a skeleton crew on board at this very moment and the commander has realised what is happening.
> From a distance we detect 40 or so Tie Fighters launching from the Star Destroyers.
>Party Plays OhCrapOhCrapOhCrap.Wav
> Incoming horrible laser death never arrives, Tie Fighters begin strafing the station trying to break it up into smaller segments.
> Tau Player who is usually a pragmatic killing machine to the point of annoying rest of party has seeming does a 180 in his usual play style.
> Orders drones to assist and the break down small chunks of the station that are drifting off.
> At this point his shuttles scanners also detect the rest of the party hanging off the Warp Core and he starts heading towards them.
> Dark Eldar begins boasting over his coms to Bounty Hunter and Mr T'Ork about his achievements, how he's not a genocidal maniac how he is a man of vision etc etc.
> Bounty Hunter sick of Dark Eldars shit and partly worried that the Dark Eldar will befriend the explosion addict Ork disables the Dark Eldars coms by breaking the relevant transmitter of his helmet.
> Mr T'Ork not paying attention realises that they are drifting away in “Boring direction”
> After some failed concepts decides on a plan of “Dibolical Kunning” after remembering he has a flame thrower.
> Mr T'Ork turns round and now begins using his flamethrower to propel the Warp Core. Actually goes quite well and the roll passes but the skill dice rolls a 1.
GM decides that the Warp Core is now spinning but is heading right direction.
> They must all roll endurence tests not to be sick.
> All three pass rolls to avoid puking in their helmets as they turn a little green or a darker shade in Mr T'Orks case.
> GM “Oh by the way, there is now a crack in the protective shielding and power spikes are detectable in the Warp Core.”
> Party Plays OhCrapOhCrapOhCrap.Wav
> GM and Jedi player are puzzled “But wait a moment aren't most of you guys engineers?”
> Bounty Hunter can only hack.
> Dark Eldar has mad science for altering existing tech but is too busy wrestling with the Bounty Hunter and Mr T'Ork..
> Mr T'Ork has the explosives skill, “Its just a really big bomb, I'm going to roll it.”
> Fails roll.
> Mr T'Ork in typical ork repair fashion begins smacking it with a large wrench deciding Percussive Warp Core Maintenance is the way.
> GM informs party that everyone is within the blast radius of the Warp Core except those on the ship which may have a small chance to survive.
> Party collectively brown trousers apart from myself and the Jedi Player
> Myself and Jedi now secretly conversing on the ethics behind abandoning the party and how long we should wait till we hyper drive away.
> Decide to wait for Tau they leave the others to die if they can't reach ship in 10 turns.
> The words “I'm not actively trying to kill the party..” keep coming up in this conversation.
> Very glad no one else can see it.
> Typically Tau declares he's flying the shuffle along side the Warp Core forgetting its a small one man ship.
> Mr T'Ork fails a second repair roll.
> The power spikes again GM reveals the Warp Core will explode in under 10 rounds.
> Tau starts screaming at Mr T'Ork to stop helping for the Greater Good.
> Screw it we are leaving in 3 rounds.. no wait what are the Dark Eldar and Bounty Hunter doing?
> The Dark Eldar and Bounty Hunter now push off the Warp Core trying
to drift in the direction of the ship and while fighting.
> The Dark Eldar tries to throw something resembling a Thermal Detonator at the Warp Core thankfully the Bounty Hunter deflects it out into space.
> Jedi remembers our ship has a tractor beam and declares we have a plan.
> In private chat we both conclude we are most likely going to die because we are too damn nice.
> GM laughs and reveals that he can see all private chats.
> Then rewards both me and Jedi a Bennie.
> Party are suspicious.
> I come up with a cunning ploy and distract them by posting pictures of dogs dressed as Ewoks.
> All play is suspended for 10 minutes.
> Thank the Dice Gods for our short attention spans.
> Managing to stabilise the Warp Cores flight with the tractor beam thanks to good rolls by the Jedi. > The Tau exits the Shuttle and does okay in beginning repairs.
> Suddenly laser fire almost hits the Tau.
> It seems a handful of Tie Fighters did come after us.
> Curse the Dice Gods for our short attention spans.
> Threat vanishes as quickly as it appeared.
> Chappa seems to be an Ewok of many talents and obliterates the Tie Fighter with a well placed shot from the Corvette
> Attention back to our potential pursers we now realise that the Star Destroyers have both opened fire on the remains of the station.
> Escape pods launching from the Star destroyer that had initially launched the fighters it now surges forward ramming the incoming station.
> For a moment it seems like it shields will hold before they overload and the station crashes into it.
> The Dark Eldars evil laughter cuts off once we realise with the sacrifice of the Star Destroyer that the forward momentum of the Station has been vastly reduce even as it collides with the shipyard.
> Some wreckage rains down on the planet but it is mostly small enough to burn up in orbit.
> Even though it is heavily damaged to the point of destruction the shipyards orbit doesn't decay.
> While most of the party give a sigh of relief at not destroying a planet we now realise the remaining Tie pilots are bearing down on us with vengeance in mind.
> Another Star Destroyer arrives in the system from hyperspace after hearing the distress calls.
> Desperate to buy more time the Jedi realises that the Warp Core could be used as a bomb.
> Prepares to launch it after he tinkers with deploying more power to the tractor beam.
> Its quickly pointed out to him that the Bounty Hunter and Dark Eldar have drifted into the beam and would be turned into paste
> Also the Tau and Mr T'Ork are still on the Warp Core.
> The words “I'm not actively trying to kill the party..” once again are uttered but publicly this time.
> A littler further repair work and the Tau rapidly gets back into his shuttle flying into the docking bay of the Corvette as Chappa begins to power up the Hyperdrive.
> Jedi remembers he is in fact a Jedi
> Uses the Force to pull Bounty Hunter and Dark Eldar in the docking bay.
> In spite of parties protests in bringing the Dark Eldar, we did owe him a favour for getting our stuff.
> Mr T'Ork is now ready to go out in possibly one of the biggest explosions that he possibly could.
> Player is laughing regretting nothing.
> Dark Eldar manages to persuade the party that the Warp Core in spite of been unstable as hell is fixable and worth a lot of money and thus we finish loading it into the docking area.
> Repeated head desking as this point
> The session ends as Mr T'Ork does one final roll to try and fix The Warp Core as he rides in...
> Failing again. It now has less than 5 turns till detonation.
> Another two weeks and the group gathers once more.
> Jedi players headset mike doesn't seem to be working properly so I actually don't have much of clue about anything he said this session.
> Though he spent most of the evening trying to fix it.
> At this point we are pretty confident we are going to get away though as we recap.
> We suddenly realise we are two bad skill rolls away from a TPK...
> Well myself and the Tau player anyway.
> As game resumes Tau bee lines to Warp Core attempting to fix it as party try to decide what to do.
> Jedi at this point remembers to close the hanger doors so Chappa can finally hit the hyperdrive button.
> GM asks rather sternly if we are SURE we don't want to jettison the unstable Warp Core as a makeshift bomb towards our pursuers.
> Dark Eldar points out that it is a highly valuable unstable Warp Core.
> Forgetting everything we have learned in the last few sessions about not trusting the Dark Eldar decide that the prize is too great to lose.
> We have one round left as Chappa sends the ship into hyperspace.
> Much to everyone's relief the Tau manages to repair the damage enough to buy another hour or two which will be more than enough time to affix a makeshift cooling system.
> Bounty Hunter begins to rant at Dark Eldar about morality.
> Amusingly enough be seems to predict the Dark Eldars replies before he can even speak and ends up holding up both sides of the argument.
> Finally stating “To Hell with it I need a drink..” and proceeding to start getting drunk from his hipflask.
> Amused the Dark Eldar states he's glad they had this conversation and then vanishes looking for engineering.
> Internally scream as I realise none of the other characters are following him.
> Now bored Mr T'Ork begins to explore the ship trying to find the armoury.
> Ends up trying to pursue a Servo skull.
> The Servo skull managing to escape Mr T'Ork encounters the ships cook whose kitchen is located next to the armoury room.
> The Ship Cook seems to resemble if a wookie make love to an ogryn and someone shaved the result... badly.
> Ends up the cook options are limited to grilled, burnt or deep fried and has a instant dislike for Mr T'Ork.
> His skin tone makes her suspect he is a salad person.
> Realise that not only is the Ships Cook is bigger and more muscular than him but also wielding a massive cleaver that is bigger than his choppa.
> Mr T'Ork denies been a salad person.
> Out of character party does in fact point out that he is basically a fungus creature.
> Offers to obtain rare ingredients which is quickly changed to rare meats to deep fry for the cook.
> Party predicts we will be eating squigs for months.
> Dark Eldar locates engineering.
> The entrance is guarded by rather lax Storm Trooper who hasn't even realise the ship has taken off and hasn't even noticed the previous alarm.
> This doesn't stop the dark Eldar from doing what he does best.
> Completely bluffs the poor trooper that he is the new commanding officer of the ship.
> Dark Eldar pausing from his inspection of the ship engines attempts to corrupt Storm Trooper through suggestive smile and homoerotic subtext.
> Dark Eldar player accidentally replaces his skill roll with ewok sith picture
> Much facepalming and giggles ensue as we try to fix it.
> Only succeeds in replacing two other skills with the same picture.
> Giving up the Dark Eldar player deletes the skills to retype them later after making the roll which obviously succeeds.
> We discover that the Storm Trooper is in fact an academy drop out after a grenade incident on Arrama 3.
> The Trooper now known as Sonny Gunn doesn't realise he's just a regular guard and not a trooper.
> At this point the ship shakes as if struck by a blast and is dragged from hyperspace.
> You'veGotToBeKidding.gif
> Fearing there may be shield problems the Tau becomes determined to attempt to wire the Warp Core that is currently in a transportable storage mode into the ships systems to provide extra power.
> Only relenting after 30 minutes of the party and GM explaining out of character the effect would be like trying to directly plug a nuclear reactor into lamp.
> The shaking Mr T'Ork is distracts from his wooing of the Cook and construction of a vending machine in the armoury.
> Finding a nearby console he activates the Green alert since “Green is da best and don't want these zoggin idots runnin faster in red..”
> Everyone on Ship WTF is a green alert as the corridor lights turn green.
> Party decided someone must of put a non recyclable in the wrong bin.
> After several rounds of the party derping Chappa does the sensible thing and looks out the window.
> An Interdictor-class Star Destroyer... thankfully some distance away but still well within range of its interdiction field.
> General consensus is we are all dead.
> But then we are hailed by a single Tie Fighter that reveals that this a regular stop and search due to the distress call from the shipyard and station.
> There relief for a moment until we realise we don't know the ship code, Captain or Imperial.
> We rush to find the Ex-Imperial Intelligence Officer
> Except for Chappa who is piloting and the Dark Eldar who hacks his way into the coms.
> Dark Eldar begins informing the Tie pilot that we are on a mission of mercy loaded with food and medical supplies.
> Begin head desking in and out of character.
> Dark Eldar player picks up on this subtle hint that his bluff is remarkably stupid and decides to push it further by stating that several prisoners from the station are on board and have been captured.
> Having found the Ex-Imperial Intelligence Officer but too late to fix this Tau, Ewok and Jedi realise that the Dark Eldar may be the cause of the Bounty Hunters drinking problem.
> The Bounty Hunter who had been deceptively quiet during the session apart from a short failed attempt to seduce the Intelligence Officer again now also hacks into the coms system using a hacking deck from the shadowrunner home-brew expansion.
> A brief explanation by the GM explains why he had allowed that expansion for the Bounty Hunters player.
> Bounty Hunter piggybacking off the coms communication manages to discover the communication frequency for the Star Destroyer.
> Using this he transmits a virus attached message to the Star Destroyer with an epic dice explosion of 32.
>The rest of the party aren't sure how this actually works but what the hell the dice gods said yes so that's enough.
>With his bluff slowly falling apart the Dark Eldar convinces Sonny Gunn to contact the Tie Fighter pilot.
> Somehow the bumbling npc manages to pull off a decent roll convincing the pilot that we will transmit coordinates of where we will meet the Interdictor-class Star Destroyer so we can be boarded.
> With a moment respite for the group the Tau makes his way to the bridge encountering the Servo Skull on his way.
> Servo Skull which now through suspiciously specific denials gives away that it in fact is an (of a debatable level) intelligent AI.
> Two bond over how crazy techpriests are.
> Using the scanners we realise there is an asteroid field extremely close to where we were shunted back into real space.
> With a remarkable role and several bennies the Gm allows the Tauto make a claim that several of the asteroids have metals in them which would be attracted towards the interdiction field.
> The Jedi Player protests that's not how interdiction fields work and game is suspended for another 15 minutes.
> Begin to realise we should of really stuck to the more simple Star Wars elements for the game due to the little in depth knowledge we have since this is going to keep happening.
> GM rules the “Rule of Cool” and the game continues.
> Sending coordinates of a location near the asteroid field to the Star Destroyer.
> We decide on a plan, first we would make our way to the asteroid field they quickly divert into it, then get rid of our Tie Fighter escort and try to escape the interdiction field while the Star Destroyer is pelted with asteroids.
> This goes wrong instantly.
> Bounty Hunters little foray into the Tie Fighters systems infected it with adware which has not gone unnoticed by the pilot who is growing increasingly irate with offers to “Extend his lightsaber”.
> Contacting us again the pilot decides enough is enough and demands we fly directly towards the Star Destroyer.
> However the Dark Eldar once again banters his way through the situation explaining that we believe on of the prisoners is loose and is currently on the outside of the ship.
> As the Tie Fighter comes closer we jettison the salvaged garbage from the hold which smashes through the cockpit of the Tie Fighter killing the pilot.
> With our flimsy cover completely blown Chappa now pushes the Corvette engines to the limit steering towards the asteroid field.
> Meanwhile the Jedi suddenly feels a dark pressure emanating from the Star Destroyer signalling the presence of incredibly powerful sith causing him to try and suppress his own aura.
> Expecting a massive ave of Tie Fighters incoming any moment the party prepares.
> Mr T'Ork manning one of the turrets as the Tau takes the other wiring the Servo Skull AI into the targeting systems ordering it to aim fore disabling shots.
> Servo Skull becomes increasingly disturbing as it now describes the sensation of becoming so much larger and how it can feel everything within the ship.
> Great... we are bordering on creating another SHODAN.
> A few rounds of pilot rolls and we are slowly pulling away but its not fast enough.
> This has given the Dark Eldar time to do a few power alterations to one of the turrets.
> Much to the anger of the Ships Engineer who resists whacking him with her wrench to see if she can figure out the changes.
> The first two squadrons of Tie Fighters that spewed forth from the Star Destroyer now reach us
> Mr T'Ork (unknowingly aided by the AI) rains laser death amongst them taking serious penalties to make multiple shots that not only hit but destroy a fighter with each shot.
> The Tau also proves himself to be just as effective with deadly precision and six Tie Fighters have been destroyed in our opening volley.
> The remaining eighteen open fire strafing us but struggle to pierce the shields doing only superficial damage and two more are further destroyed by the Corvettes front guns.
> At this point the virus put in place by the Bounty Hunter activates and corrupts the internal communication system.
> Turns out its actually remarkably simple and replaces a number of keywords in a sentence with another.
> During the rounds since it was used the Bounty Hunter Player has made a list of 40 words and then after a quick check the GM agrees with them.
> Dice are rolled to see which words will be used.
> The results are surprisingly sensible apart from an unusual sentence or two.
> Importantly however is a series of conflicting orders regarding the interdiction field and entering hyperspace.
> The GM is suffering the ire of the dice gods as various sense motive and engineering rolls by the Star Destroyers crew utterly fail.
> The crew more motivated not to be shot for disobeying orders than common sense start following the instructions of the corrupted message.
> Another round of fire and the Tie Fighters are reduced to half a squadron remaining but many more are incoming as we enter the asteroid field.
> A few rounds of cat and mouse later the Start Destroyer attempts to enter hyperspace only for the interdiction field to reactivate seconds later.
> The result is the Star Destroyer catapulting itself into the asteroid field.
> A large pulse from the interdiction field begins drawing in the nearest asteroids before the conflict shorts out systems throughout the Star Destroyer.
> Now unprotected has numerous asteroids slam into it.
> With the interdiction field down and not wanting to press our run of luck further we activate our own hyperspace engines and escape.
> Mr T'Ork unplugging the complain AI as we do so.
I hope you guys enjoyed all this I must admit that the last two posts haven't been all that amusing but unfortunately I was finding it difficult to keep up with notes. I think if I do more posts I'll keep them to short scenes rather than trying to tell an entire adventure but it looks like our group have avoid TPK for now.
> The Dark Eldar tries to throw something resembling a Thermal Detonator at the Warp Core thankfully the Bounty Hunter deflects it out into space.
> Jedi remembers our ship has a tractor beam and declares we have a plan.
> In private chat we both conclude we are most likely going to die because we are too damn nice.
> GM laughs and reveals that he can see all private chats.
> Then rewards both me and Jedi a Bennie.
> Party are suspicious.
> I come up with a cunning ploy and distract them by posting pictures of dogs dressed as Ewoks.
> All play is suspended for 10 minutes.
> Thank the Dice Gods for our short attention spans.
> Managing to stabilise the Warp Cores flight with the tractor beam thanks to good rolls by the Jedi. > The Tau exits the Shuttle and does okay in beginning repairs.
> Suddenly laser fire almost hits the Tau.
> It seems a handful of Tie Fighters did come after us.
> Curse the Dice Gods for our short attention spans.
> Threat vanishes as quickly as it appeared.
> Chappa seems to be an Ewok of many talents and obliterates the Tie Fighter with a well placed shot from the Corvette
> Attention back to our potential pursers we now realise that the Star Destroyers have both opened fire on the remains of the station.
> Escape pods launching from the Star destroyer that had initially launched the fighters it now surges forward ramming the incoming station.
> For a moment it seems like it shields will hold before they overload and the station crashes into it.
> The Dark Eldars evil laughter cuts off once we realise with the sacrifice of the Star Destroyer that the forward momentum of the Station has been vastly reduce even as it collides with the shipyard.
> Some wreckage rains down on the planet but it is mostly small enough to burn up in orbit.
> Even though it is heavily damaged to the point of destruction the shipyards orbit doesn't decay.
> While most of the party give a sigh of relief at not destroying a planet we now realise the remaining Tie pilots are bearing down on us with vengeance in mind.
> Another Star Destroyer arrives in the system from hyperspace after hearing the distress calls.
> Desperate to buy more time the Jedi realises that the Warp Core could be used as a bomb.
> Prepares to launch it after he tinkers with deploying more power to the tractor beam.
> Its quickly pointed out to him that the Bounty Hunter and Dark Eldar have drifted into the beam and would be turned into paste
> Also the Tau and Mr T'Ork are still on the Warp Core.
> The words “I'm not actively trying to kill the party..” once again are uttered but publicly this time.
> A littler further repair work and the Tau rapidly gets back into his shuttle flying into the docking bay of the Corvette as Chappa begins to power up the Hyperdrive.
> Jedi remembers he is in fact a Jedi
> Uses the Force to pull Bounty Hunter and Dark Eldar in the docking bay.
> In spite of parties protests in bringing the Dark Eldar, we did owe him a favour for getting our stuff.
> Mr T'Ork is now ready to go out in possibly one of the biggest explosions that he possibly could.
> Player is laughing regretting nothing.
> Dark Eldar manages to persuade the party that the Warp Core in spite of been unstable as hell is fixable and worth a lot of money and thus we finish loading it into the docking area.
> Repeated head desking as this point
> The session ends as Mr T'Ork does one final roll to try and fix The Warp Core as he rides in...
> Failing again. It now has less than 5 turns till detonation.
Part 6 Race to Hyperspace
> Another two weeks and the group gathers once more.
> Jedi players headset mike doesn't seem to be working properly so I actually don't have much of clue about anything he said this session.
> Though he spent most of the evening trying to fix it.
> At this point we are pretty confident we are going to get away though as we recap.
> We suddenly realise we are two bad skill rolls away from a TPK...
> Well myself and the Tau player anyway.
> As game resumes Tau bee lines to Warp Core attempting to fix it as party try to decide what to do.
> Jedi at this point remembers to close the hanger doors so Chappa can finally hit the hyperdrive button.
> GM asks rather sternly if we are SURE we don't want to jettison the unstable Warp Core as a makeshift bomb towards our pursuers.
> Dark Eldar points out that it is a highly valuable unstable Warp Core.
> Forgetting everything we have learned in the last few sessions about not trusting the Dark Eldar decide that the prize is too great to lose.
> We have one round left as Chappa sends the ship into hyperspace.
> Much to everyone's relief the Tau manages to repair the damage enough to buy another hour or two which will be more than enough time to affix a makeshift cooling system.
> Bounty Hunter begins to rant at Dark Eldar about morality.
> Amusingly enough be seems to predict the Dark Eldars replies before he can even speak and ends up holding up both sides of the argument.
> Finally stating “To Hell with it I need a drink..” and proceeding to start getting drunk from his hipflask.
> Amused the Dark Eldar states he's glad they had this conversation and then vanishes looking for engineering.
> Internally scream as I realise none of the other characters are following him.
> Now bored Mr T'Ork begins to explore the ship trying to find the armoury.
> Ends up trying to pursue a Servo skull.
> The Servo skull managing to escape Mr T'Ork encounters the ships cook whose kitchen is located next to the armoury room.
> The Ship Cook seems to resemble if a wookie make love to an ogryn and someone shaved the result... badly.
> Ends up the cook options are limited to grilled, burnt or deep fried and has a instant dislike for Mr T'Ork.
> His skin tone makes her suspect he is a salad person.
> Realise that not only is the Ships Cook is bigger and more muscular than him but also wielding a massive cleaver that is bigger than his choppa.
> Mr T'Ork denies been a salad person.
> Out of character party does in fact point out that he is basically a fungus creature.
> Offers to obtain rare ingredients which is quickly changed to rare meats to deep fry for the cook.
> Party predicts we will be eating squigs for months.
> Dark Eldar locates engineering.
> The entrance is guarded by rather lax Storm Trooper who hasn't even realise the ship has taken off and hasn't even noticed the previous alarm.
> This doesn't stop the dark Eldar from doing what he does best.
> Completely bluffs the poor trooper that he is the new commanding officer of the ship.
> Dark Eldar pausing from his inspection of the ship engines attempts to corrupt Storm Trooper through suggestive smile and homoerotic subtext.
> Dark Eldar player accidentally replaces his skill roll with ewok sith picture
> Much facepalming and giggles ensue as we try to fix it.
> Only succeeds in replacing two other skills with the same picture.
> Giving up the Dark Eldar player deletes the skills to retype them later after making the roll which obviously succeeds.
> We discover that the Storm Trooper is in fact an academy drop out after a grenade incident on Arrama 3.
> The Trooper now known as Sonny Gunn doesn't realise he's just a regular guard and not a trooper.
> At this point the ship shakes as if struck by a blast and is dragged from hyperspace.
> You'veGotToBeKidding.gif
> Fearing there may be shield problems the Tau becomes determined to attempt to wire the Warp Core that is currently in a transportable storage mode into the ships systems to provide extra power.
> Only relenting after 30 minutes of the party and GM explaining out of character the effect would be like trying to directly plug a nuclear reactor into lamp.
> The shaking Mr T'Ork is distracts from his wooing of the Cook and construction of a vending machine in the armoury.
> Finding a nearby console he activates the Green alert since “Green is da best and don't want these zoggin idots runnin faster in red..”
> Everyone on Ship WTF is a green alert as the corridor lights turn green.
> Party decided someone must of put a non recyclable in the wrong bin.
> After several rounds of the party derping Chappa does the sensible thing and looks out the window.
> An Interdictor-class Star Destroyer... thankfully some distance away but still well within range of its interdiction field.
> General consensus is we are all dead.
> But then we are hailed by a single Tie Fighter that reveals that this a regular stop and search due to the distress call from the shipyard and station.
> There relief for a moment until we realise we don't know the ship code, Captain or Imperial.
> We rush to find the Ex-Imperial Intelligence Officer
> Except for Chappa who is piloting and the Dark Eldar who hacks his way into the coms.
> Dark Eldar begins informing the Tie pilot that we are on a mission of mercy loaded with food and medical supplies.
> Begin head desking in and out of character.
> Dark Eldar player picks up on this subtle hint that his bluff is remarkably stupid and decides to push it further by stating that several prisoners from the station are on board and have been captured.
> Having found the Ex-Imperial Intelligence Officer but too late to fix this Tau, Ewok and Jedi realise that the Dark Eldar may be the cause of the Bounty Hunters drinking problem.
> The Bounty Hunter who had been deceptively quiet during the session apart from a short failed attempt to seduce the Intelligence Officer again now also hacks into the coms system using a hacking deck from the shadowrunner home-brew expansion.
> A brief explanation by the GM explains why he had allowed that expansion for the Bounty Hunters player.
> Bounty Hunter piggybacking off the coms communication manages to discover the communication frequency for the Star Destroyer.
> Using this he transmits a virus attached message to the Star Destroyer with an epic dice explosion of 32.
>The rest of the party aren't sure how this actually works but what the hell the dice gods said yes so that's enough.
>With his bluff slowly falling apart the Dark Eldar convinces Sonny Gunn to contact the Tie Fighter pilot.
> Somehow the bumbling npc manages to pull off a decent roll convincing the pilot that we will transmit coordinates of where we will meet the Interdictor-class Star Destroyer so we can be boarded.
> With a moment respite for the group the Tau makes his way to the bridge encountering the Servo Skull on his way.
> Servo Skull which now through suspiciously specific denials gives away that it in fact is an (of a debatable level) intelligent AI.
> Two bond over how crazy techpriests are.
> Using the scanners we realise there is an asteroid field extremely close to where we were shunted back into real space.
> With a remarkable role and several bennies the Gm allows the Tauto make a claim that several of the asteroids have metals in them which would be attracted towards the interdiction field.
> The Jedi Player protests that's not how interdiction fields work and game is suspended for another 15 minutes.
> Begin to realise we should of really stuck to the more simple Star Wars elements for the game due to the little in depth knowledge we have since this is going to keep happening.
> GM rules the “Rule of Cool” and the game continues.
> Sending coordinates of a location near the asteroid field to the Star Destroyer.
> We decide on a plan, first we would make our way to the asteroid field they quickly divert into it, then get rid of our Tie Fighter escort and try to escape the interdiction field while the Star Destroyer is pelted with asteroids.
> This goes wrong instantly.
> Bounty Hunters little foray into the Tie Fighters systems infected it with adware which has not gone unnoticed by the pilot who is growing increasingly irate with offers to “Extend his lightsaber”.
> Contacting us again the pilot decides enough is enough and demands we fly directly towards the Star Destroyer.
> However the Dark Eldar once again banters his way through the situation explaining that we believe on of the prisoners is loose and is currently on the outside of the ship.
> As the Tie Fighter comes closer we jettison the salvaged garbage from the hold which smashes through the cockpit of the Tie Fighter killing the pilot.
> With our flimsy cover completely blown Chappa now pushes the Corvette engines to the limit steering towards the asteroid field.
> Meanwhile the Jedi suddenly feels a dark pressure emanating from the Star Destroyer signalling the presence of incredibly powerful sith causing him to try and suppress his own aura.
> Expecting a massive ave of Tie Fighters incoming any moment the party prepares.
> Mr T'Ork manning one of the turrets as the Tau takes the other wiring the Servo Skull AI into the targeting systems ordering it to aim fore disabling shots.
> Servo Skull becomes increasingly disturbing as it now describes the sensation of becoming so much larger and how it can feel everything within the ship.
> Great... we are bordering on creating another SHODAN.
> A few rounds of pilot rolls and we are slowly pulling away but its not fast enough.
> This has given the Dark Eldar time to do a few power alterations to one of the turrets.
> Much to the anger of the Ships Engineer who resists whacking him with her wrench to see if she can figure out the changes.
> The first two squadrons of Tie Fighters that spewed forth from the Star Destroyer now reach us
> Mr T'Ork (unknowingly aided by the AI) rains laser death amongst them taking serious penalties to make multiple shots that not only hit but destroy a fighter with each shot.
> The Tau also proves himself to be just as effective with deadly precision and six Tie Fighters have been destroyed in our opening volley.
> The remaining eighteen open fire strafing us but struggle to pierce the shields doing only superficial damage and two more are further destroyed by the Corvettes front guns.
> At this point the virus put in place by the Bounty Hunter activates and corrupts the internal communication system.
> Turns out its actually remarkably simple and replaces a number of keywords in a sentence with another.
> During the rounds since it was used the Bounty Hunter Player has made a list of 40 words and then after a quick check the GM agrees with them.
> Dice are rolled to see which words will be used.
> The results are surprisingly sensible apart from an unusual sentence or two.
> Importantly however is a series of conflicting orders regarding the interdiction field and entering hyperspace.
> The GM is suffering the ire of the dice gods as various sense motive and engineering rolls by the Star Destroyers crew utterly fail.
> The crew more motivated not to be shot for disobeying orders than common sense start following the instructions of the corrupted message.
> Another round of fire and the Tie Fighters are reduced to half a squadron remaining but many more are incoming as we enter the asteroid field.
> A few rounds of cat and mouse later the Start Destroyer attempts to enter hyperspace only for the interdiction field to reactivate seconds later.
> The result is the Star Destroyer catapulting itself into the asteroid field.
> A large pulse from the interdiction field begins drawing in the nearest asteroids before the conflict shorts out systems throughout the Star Destroyer.
> Now unprotected has numerous asteroids slam into it.
> With the interdiction field down and not wanting to press our run of luck further we activate our own hyperspace engines and escape.
> Mr T'Ork unplugging the complain AI as we do so.
I hope you guys enjoyed all this I must admit that the last two posts haven't been all that amusing but unfortunately I was finding it difficult to keep up with notes. I think if I do more posts I'll keep them to short scenes rather than trying to tell an entire adventure but it looks like our group have avoid TPK for now.