3rd Party Showcase: Coins And Scrolls: Monster Menu

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: , , , , , , , , , ,

Some older readers may remember the first series of articles I wrote back in 2013, the Survival Out in the Wilds series focused upon a mixtures of D&D 3.5 / Pathfinder rules to expand players capabilities to use monster remains. The first article focused on skinning and the sales value of pelts, the second article was my groups own custom armour creation rule set, the third article continued with spell reagents and the final article was the cooking of creatures and some points to consider.

For quite some time since my group and I have often discussed how to cook various monsters and make logical guesses upon how they taste to the point in our campaigns we often attempt to cook at least one new monster each time.

Skerples of the Coins And Scrolls has taken this one step further, in support of GLOG (Goblin Laws of Gaming,) an old-school themed rules set published by Arnold K, Skerples has taken the 1977 AD&D Monster Manual and has listed beasts mundane and magical in alphabetical order with flavour, effects and occasional serving suggestion.

Below are a few highlights:

d30CreatureFlavour or Effect
1Barracuda or Gar, giant or MasherFish
2Beaver, giantOily, fatty pork
Dense but faintly spiced pork
4BuffaloFaintly spiced beef
5Bull or Cattle, wildBeef
6Camel, wildStringy beef
Cross between chicken and fish
8DolphinFishy. Next sailing voyage is cursed. 1-in-100 chance of being haunted by a vengeful dolphin ghost.
9 EelFishy
Frog, giant 
Buttery, faintly algal
11 Goat, giantMutton
Herd animal
Varies, but probably beef or mutton
13 Horse or MuleStringy mutton, lots of crunchy bits
Irishdeer or Stag
15 LampreyFish

A glance at the regular creatures one may encounter.

Eating most of the things on this list would be considered impolite or insufficiently rewarding. Adventurers will still try though. You could also roll to see what the trolls are roasting over the fire tonight. Intelligent creatures with significant magical effects are listed in the Special Creatures section. Eating fresh People might turn you into a wendigo. Eating rotten people might turn you into a ghoul.

Flavour or Effect
or Halfling
Fatty pork
Really bad mutton
Centaur or Minotaur 
Fatty pork, blending into stringy mutton or beef
or Gnome
Fatty pork
Pork, cures acne and dandruff
Fatty, very dense pork, requires 12+hrs of boiling
Fatty, very acidic pork
Goblin or Hobgoblin
Fatty pork, acidic aftertaste
Fatty pork, slightly tastier than usual
Mix of pork and chicken, tastes absolutely foul,
provides no healing. Save vs Nausea.
or Sea Hag
Fish, but crunchy and bitter
Jackalwere or Lycanthrope
Fatty pork or creature's flavour. S
ave vs intermittent partial lycanthropy
Fatty pork, acidic aftertaste

Even the sentient races aren't safe, though I sense a theme in flavour.

Flavour: flesh crackles like dry french fries. Invisible ichor drips upwards from your chin. In the distance, howling, or music.

Notes: must be eaten raw, and quickly.

Screaming Madness. Save or become permanently insane.
Outsider Flesh. Save vs Con. If you pass, gain 1 random mutation.
If you fail, gain 1d6+1 random mutations.
Twisting Cells. Permanently gain +2 to a random stat and -2 to a
different random stat.
Eye Rays. Gain a random spell. 1. Charm Person, 2-3. Eye Laser,
4. Fear, 5. Sleep 6. Telekinetic Shove. If you are not a spellcaster,
Save or immediately cast the spell on a random target using d4
magic dice. If you pass your Save, you can cast the spell once
per day using 1 MD, firing it from a random eye.
Natural Magic. You gain 1 Magic Dice and 1 spell slot. If you were
not one already, you become a spellcaster.

 Some Monsters have their own special rules and horrible risks.  

I highly recommend checking out the full article and its follow up: Monster Menu-All Part 2: Veins of the Earth

And remember once you've done with the body you can always use their souls


Post a Comment