Kobolds Ate My Baby Adventure: Short & Sweet

Posted by: Jason Silverain / Category: , , , , ,

With the popularity of the last KAMB adventure Trick & Treat Troubles I've continued to create a few more adventures in order to support the Kobolds Ate My Baby community.

While Kobolds Ate My Baby in Colour was used to design the encounters the adventure can easily be adapted for earlier editions or for the Home Brew Kobolds Ate My Baby (TG Edition) which is designed for play by post. For clarification like many publications by WOTC's or 3rd party writers italic paragraphs will sections to be read out to the players with alterations if needed while regular text is information for the Dungeon Master.

The maps in this adventure were created with the free online map maker of Ye Olde Map Maker.

Kobolds Ate My Baby Adventure: Short & Sweet

This short adventure is design for between 4 to 6 Kobolds and should take approximately 30 to 45 minutes to complete depending on how much trouble and chaos occurs. It should be noted that the baby horrible death table should be disregarded for this adventure.

The following paragraph should be read just before or during character creation.

Tabriz Warlock Supreme has rent out your services to the marauding orc hordes of Warchief Dunbad (not to mistaken for marinading hordes of Warchef Dunwell, and his gourmet goblins), while your not sure if he was allowed to as King Torg (All Hail King Torg) was loaning you and your buddies out to him its best not to argue with a Warlock Supreme (unless you want to end up as ash). With little more than a green chubby finger pointing you towards the nearby woods south of his warcamp and a order of "Goes Get Food or be food" you begin your service to Warchief Dunbad

Once play is ready to begin read the following.

After trudging through the thick forest for what feels like days (though given a kobolds attention span its probably been a hour at most) with little more than the occasional berry, a squirrel that was too slow and that stick shaped chicken leg you've not found anything that you think looks particularly tasty. For a moment you begin to worry that you won't find anything and worse your beginning to feel hungry however before the gaze (and giant thumb) of VOR! can come down upon you at your brief spark of self preservation the sweet, tasty aroma of baby wafts into your nostrils. 

Rushing through the trees you eventually come to a small clearing in which the centre of stands a small cottage.


1. The Clearing.

 Smoke wisps from the chimney of the small cottage as the smell of stewing meat and vegetables teases you from one of the open windows, the cottage itself is made of timber and looks old but well maintained though it pales in comparison to the mighty halls of Torg. From the behind the cottage loud chopping and the thud of wood can be heard. 

If any of the Kobolds are interested of taking a look inside the cottage the window on the west side of the house is open, however the window is a little high for the average kobold so Sport rolls or something to stand on (like another kobold) will be needed.

2. Inside The Cottage.
Occupants: 1 Wench (Upgrade Dam to 3 for Iron Skillet), Baby
Loot: 2 Cooking Utensils, Kitchen Knife, Iron Skillet. Stew (4 Servings, heals 1 HIT per serving)

When/if the kobolds open the door:

The door opens and from behind you can see a young human woman clothed in a short dress and long red cloak sat at a table arranging a bundle of dried flowers to place in a straw basket, nearby over a fire pit hangs a small black pot in which a stew bubbles to completion. A waft of hot air drifting out catches your nose and the scent is unmistakable there is a delicious baby somewhere within!  

At this point if the kobolds don't immediately attack they are most likely planning their heist and trying to figure out how to get around the human.

The simplest ways to do this are:

  • Attempt to sneak past her (2 Dice Sneak Roll) when her back is turned to tend to the stew, which may cause issues if all the kobolds do this at once.
  • A kobold with Winning Smile could distract the hooded woman with the added bonus of been given a bowl of stew.
  • Making a noise outside and luring her out.
  • Break open the rear window (or one of them Sneaks in and opens it) and climb in but this may be noisy and this involves distracting or removing the woodcutter in area 3.
Once inside the cottage itself is very simple with only a single main room which consists of a kitchen/dining room with a adjoining bedroom where the baby lays in its cot.

In the case of a fight the kobolds have 2 turns before the Woodcutter arrives to investigate the noise. 

3. Behind The Cottage.
Occupants: 1 Woodcutter (Use Farmer, Upgrade Dam to 4 for Big Axe)
Loot: Chopped wood (As much as you need), Woodcutters Axe (Dam 4, -Big,-Bulky)

The sound of chopping grows louder as you approach, peering around the corner of the cottage you see the tall human wielding that wickedly sharp looking axe as he slices small logs of wood into smaller logs of wood. You'll never understand humans and their strange rituals.

The big threat to the kobolds safety, this fellow will happily axe first and ask questions later. If alerted to a fight he'll focus on any kobolds that have attacked or killed any of his family first.

Once the kobolds have obtained the baby and managed to escape from the map without eating it then the second part of the adventure begins.

Thieving Witch

With your smelly, wailing but tasty treasure well in paw you race through the forest looking forward to cooking the noisy snack and impressing Warchief Dunbad with kobold cuisine, however a high pitch cackle above you suddenly draws your attention as the baby is snatched from your grasp. Racing away through the tree line on her gnarled broomstick the green skinned witch calls back "Thanks for the snack", while out of sight the scent of baby is still strong and you hurry after her.

1. The Garden

 A overpowering sweet smell seems to fill you with a rush of energy as once again the forest undergrowth thins into the clearing, the source of the smell seems to be the large building before you, a literal gingerbread house. Its brown baked walls studded with rock candy and panelled with peppermint, along its chocolate button roof tiles grimacing gummy bears gaze down at you. 

So our kobold hungry for revenge (and baby) will be wondering how to enter this den of delightful treats, any kobolds trying the thick peppermint slab doors will find them locked (and sticky) along with a cat flap that is far too small for them.

For those budding sneak thieves who want to explore around the side of the building a little further they will have to face their own problems of manoeuvring through the sugar glass grass requiring a 2 Dice Sports or Wiggle check to avoid taking 2 Hit of damage. To be fair only do this once for each side of the building though if anyone complains make they do it again and give them a Horrible Death Check that will teach em.

Much like the previous cottage the windows  are a little high for the average kobold so Sport rolls or something to stand on (like another kobold) will be needed.
Anyone attempting to peak into Room 3 through the window will alert the Witches guardians in the garden the Licorice Lasso Snakes: (advised 1 to 2 for each kobold)     

Licorice Lasso Snakes
4B 2E 2E 9R /3 AGL/Wiggle/ Candy Corn Fangs 1 DAM/ 1VP

Anyone who succeeds in Wrassling a Licorice Lasso Snake into their mouth defeats it instantly and gains 1 Hit back.

Despite the locked door entering the house shouldn't be too difficult and there are various ways of doing this. The most obvious and koboldy way is to attempt to eat their way in, now as tasty as this sounds having to eat up to your own body weight in sugar is certainly not good for you.
A kobolds bite does 1 Dam per action spent munching and the hits of the candy creations are Small Item (plate, door knob): 1 Hit, Normal Item (chair, end table) 3 Hits, Large Items (doors, a bed) 5 Hits and Walls are 8 Hits. For every 2 Hits of candy a kobold eats they gain 2 Hits back, however any kobold that eats their Hits in candy creations must roll on the Sweet & Sickly Death Table, a - Hungry kobold could quite literally eat themselves to death.

Sweet & Sickly Death Table
1-2 WAAAAAAAA SUGAR RUSH: The sheer amount of sugar courses through you increasing Reflexes by 4 for 1d6 Turns however while rushing things can lead to mistakes in normal people for a kobold it can be deadly. Every Skill become Dangerous and at the end of those turns you pass out for a nap for 2 turns.
3-4 I Don't Feel So Good: Your head spinning this way and that your blood sugar does the same. Roll a D6 1. or 2. - 1Vp, 3.or 4. -2 Hit, 5. - Miss 2 Turns Throwing Up, 6. Diabetes Gain 2 Horrible Death Checks.
5 Can't Eat Another Bite: Its too much, as the sweet taste coats your every sense your kobold has had enough swearing never to eat candy again. You kobold is unable to bring themselves eat (or bite) any more and should they be forced to in any way they gain a Horrible Death Checks as at this point they would rather bite off their own tongue.
6 Never Feed Chocolate to Dogs...: Everyone knows that Kobolds are related to dogs (apart from those weird dragon loving lizard things) and you don't feed chocolate to dogs. Even a kobolds iron stomach and mithril liver has to give up somewhere and yours has decided to head to Vors mighty snack tables. You die foaming from the mouth. Gain 2 VP for achieving the kobold dream of gorging yourself to death.

Other methods can include: 
  • Melting/burning their way in, a Cup Of Elemental Summoning: Milk Milk Elemental, will demolish up to 15 Hits of Candy Creations before melting into sticky Sludge. Those using fire will have be more careful as hot melted chocolate hurts.
  • Using Dungeon to lockpick the door or Wiggle to limbo through the Cat flap.
  • Eating or smashing their way through the Windows or Roof tiles which are the thinnest parts of the building.
  • Going down the Chimney though this will result in any kobolds taking 2 Hits of Damage as they splash into the Witches Special brew and will have to treat this as drinking a random Booze.
Any method of entry that damages the house will awaken the Gummy Bear Guardians who spring and bounce from the rooftop to attack (Advise: 2 for each kobold).  

Gummy Bear Guardians
8B 2E 2E 9R /3 AGL/ Wrassle + Bouncy/ Sticky Hugs 2 DAM/ 2VP 

2. Inside The Cottage.
Occupants: 3 Imps
Loot:Witches Special brew (5 Servings, Random Booze effect.)

When/if the kobolds make their way inside:

The candy creations continue inside, the floor tiles made of dark and white chocolate patterned in occult symbols, the walls supported by giant chocolate logs by Vor even the table, cooking implements and somehow the fireplace are made of various different types of candy. Flapping lazily in the air a trio of arguing imps seem to be taking swings at each other with candy apples as maces.   

The Imps are frankly sick of sweets and are looking forward to a feast of baby and are quite happy to add the kobolds to the menu as horderves unless given an alternative quickly. If the kobolds have somehow made themselves wet (such as falling in the witches cauldron) then they suffer -1 Agl as they stick to the floor with every step. 

Imp x3
2B 14E 19E 13R / 4 AGL / Speak Kobold / Magic Spark (ranged) 1 DAM/ 1 VP

Due to the imps habit of fighting each other the witch will ignore any sounds of combat unless the kobolds themselves are particularly noisy.

3. Witches Bedroom
Occupants: 1 Witch
Loot:Baby, 4 Spell Pages, Witches Hat. (2 Armour), Flying Broomstick

A rumbling snore so deep that you can feel it through your fur rattles from the sleeping witch as slumbers upon the bed, beside her in a small candy floss cot your stolen baby goos happily at seeing you. However at this slightest noise the witch rolls over unsteady in her sleep and kicking her stripy stocking covered legs, her boots thudding on the bed. 

A Sneaky could get away scot free here at snatching the baby (3 Dice Sneak Check) but its likely that the witch will wake up as soon as the kobolds make any noise in the room, leading to a fight.

Occupants: 2 Skeleton Children (Use Bad Kid)

The doors to this room are heavy, the hardened toffee barely moving under your weight. Inside the room is pitch back but your keen eyes pick out the black licorice chains and whips, your about to look further when a pair of small skeletons rise from the floor rushing towards you.

The witches last 'guests' the cursed pair lash out at any living thing to enter the room.

Wrapping up

With the baby retrieved and possibly a few new foodstuffs the kobold will hopefully think to carry some candy back for the orcs, allow the kobolds to attempt some cooking rolls if you wish but its time to add up that VP. Any Kobold bring back something meaty (baby, Imp, witch) gains a bonus 4 VP as does any kobold that gets ambitious and attempts to bring a whole wall of the gingerbread house for example.  

Finally a little epilogue

Returning to the camp of Warchief Dunbad the large brutish orc looks sceptical but gives you a chance to cook (rather than be cooked), thankfully your candied Baby Surprise and various other sugar treats are a big hit throughout the camp and soon everything from halfing head and elf ears to dire boar and owl bear is been thrust your way to receive a candy coating. When morning comes around however many groans can be heard echoing amongst the tents, it seems that the large fangs of the orcs are not suited to such sugary meals and many have developed cavities, perhaps now is a good time to grab some payment/loot and go back home before Warchief Dunbad decided he wants you in the pot after all. 

I hope you've all enjoyed this little adventure, please leave comments below and I think I may just leave a few of my own with any further details I decide upon when reviewing this adventure.

For further information on Kobolds Ate My Baby see the links below:

Kobolds Ate My Baby - Wikipedia 
Kobolds Ate My Baby - Scribd 3rd Edition
Kobolds Ate My Baby - Deluxx Edition Review
9th Level Games


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