"I'm
Jamie Dodger and with me as always is former Snack Bowl Legend Duncan
Bisket. For those of you joining us for the post game analysis of
Tabriz Terrors versus the Cube Crushers you missed a heck of a game..
How would you describe it Duncan?" “Delicious Dodger, simply
delicious.” “From the happy look on the faces of the crowd I
think they agree with you Duncan, most of them will be going home
with a full stomach today.” “Indeed, Snack Bowl fans are nothing
if not voracious, something the teams learned today. Lets hope there
is enough left of them for the rest of the season, or seasoning's for
that matter.”
Greetings and salutations and
welcome to another Kobolds Ate My Baby special, this article will be
expanding upon the Snack Bowl adventure for those of you wanting more
Kobold sports mayhem.
Specifically I'll be covering
the Star Player Outfits, while in future updates this will be
expanded with several alternative game rule sets and finally a few
particular opposing teams.
As always I'd love to hear
feedback, ideas and comments below for further rule sets or adventure
hooks you'd like to see in the future.
“I don't believe my eyes, it
looks like one of the Tabriz Terrors thrown out of the arena earlier
has made his way back!” “Wasn't he the one that got snatched by
by that pair of orc fans?” “Yes he was Jamie and he looks like he
brought what is left of them back for a snack, now there is Star
Muncher material right there.” “Well lets hope the furry blighter
does just as well on the pitch in the future Duncan, the Tabriz
Terrors really need that iron stomach if they want to reach the
finals again this year.”
The Outfits for Snack Bowl work
in a similar way to regular Kobold outfits though with somewhat
narrower requirements and a progression system though they still cost
9 Victory Points.
While Evil Apprentices, Kobold
Veterans, Short Order Cooks and the other various skilled Kobolds are
always welcomed by any Snack Bowl Coach, would be Snack Bowl Pros are
those Kobolds willing to live (& die) on the pitch for the reward
of tasty food and the cheers of the crowd (though the wild after game
parties are also a big incentive).
This does not stop Snack Bowl
players getting into between game mischief and disaster however
because if King Torg (All Hail King Torg) says “Fetch Baby” you
fetch baby.
Pro
Rookie
Congratulations
you beat the cut (or the chomp if the case may be) and manage to
survive at least half a game, that makes you superior to 75% of other
kobolds and worth been given an actual uniform. Keep it up and you
might even get your own playing card but be careful your new status
will attract plenty of jealous attention.
Requires:
Surviving half a Snack Bowl game (Been sent off or taken out of the
match counts if you make it back alive for the next game.)
Flair:
Team Jersey (3 Armour Hits), this can be worn in addition to a
helmet.
Bonus:
You gain the Perform
Skill and can perform
Grandstanding to gain a Victory Point, if you do this after
performing a feat of remarkable skill (or more likely luck) such as
eating a giant creature, fighting off multiple foes alone and winning
or preventing a opponents Chow Down you don't take a Horrible Death
Check. If you already have the Perform Skill
gain 2 Luck instead
for actually having this normally useless skill.
Bonus:
If your armour is destroyed you can get a new Team Jersey at half
time, otherwise you'll have to wait until after the game or can sneak
back to the locker rooms.
Penalty:
While Grandstanding anyone trying to hit/shoot you gets a 1
die bonus to clobber your smug
little face.
Pro
?
Wow
your still alive and you've been pushed to your limits time and time
again, but you've made it out there by been tougher, stronger,
faster, HUNGRIER than all those others. The fans know who you are and
cheer your name, while your rivals want to Chow Down.. on your skull.
Each
Pro speciality has its own unique additional requirement but below is
the general bonus and flair all PRO's receive.
Requires:
Surviving a Snack Bowl game as a Pro Rookie (Been sent off or taken
out of the match counts if you make it back alive for the next game.)
Flair:
You've got your own Snack Bowl collectors card and collectable card
case necklace. It is worth 2VP if traded in to any Cave
Bazaare Shops but you'll have to spend 4VP if you want a new
one. (This can be stolen or taken from your still warm corpse). You
also keep your Team Jersey.
Bonus:
You remove 1 Horrible Death Check as Snack Bowls greatest patron Vor
The Big Red Angry God
takes an interest in your career (for better or worse).
Pro
Dinesman
Everyone
knows that Kobold is tasty and after years of trying to resist the
urge to devour those around you the life of a Snack Bowl player gives
you all the excuse you need to let loose, in any other civilisation
you'd be recognised as the cannibalistic little monster you are but
here the fans love it.
Requires:
Eat 3 other players (either side, the fans ain't picky).
Flair:
Great Spork (Dam 4, +Cook +Bash -Big -Bulky) or Wok Shield (Armour 4,
+Cook +Bash -Item), the referee would argue your breaching rule 4
'Teams will not bring
weapons onto the pitch' but since you debated/threatened that eating
contests are a sport this is been overlooked for now.
Bonus:
You gain a additional 3
Hits whenever you eat Kobolds
(instead of 2) or + 2 Hit
for any other small races such as Halflings, Goblins and midget
clowns.
Penalty:
Taste
like Kobold
checks are now a 2 Die
Ego roll, you horrible little creature.
Pro
Muncher
The
Dinesmen may get to eat first, the Rollers may get the glory and the
Flingers may get to stay the heck out of danger but you are the
mighty serving dish of the team upon which all other ingredients for
success are placed. If it wasn't for you chomping down on those pesky
opposing Rollers and all those wanting to squish your Rollers and
Flingers you'd all end up in the coaches cook pot after losing the
game.
Requires:
Prevent a opposing Chow Down within 2 squares of the scoring area or
Wrassle 2 other players attacking your teams Roller or Flinger
into your mouth. (Not necessarily at the same time but if you do gain
a VP for enthusiasm.)
Flair:
Spiky Shoulder Pads ( 2 Armour Hits, + Pokey), this can be worn in
addition to other armour. Also between games your given access to
special treatment to ensure those fangs and claws of yours stay in
perfect condition for maximum chomp to surface area ratio.
Bonus:
Gain a bonus Die
to all Wrassle
Checks, you also do +1 Dam
whenever you use your teeth or claws to attack or chew.
Pro
Flinger
It
may have been fluke, it may have been skill (come on we all know it
was a fluke) but your well timed boot of the ball has brought you
fame and a significant confidence boost. For whatever reason you seem
to have gotten much better at hitting your mark, maybe you just
needed to believe or perhaps its these new glasses making everything
much less fuzzy?
Requires:
Score a Chow Down by Shooting the ball to a fellow Kobold
in the scoring area.
Flair:
Oversized Goggles or Glasses.
Bonus:
Gain a bonus Die
to all Shoot Checks
and now can shoot 4 squares before taking penalty Dice.
Pro
Roller
Your
in this game for one thing and one thing only, those glorious moments
when you Chow Down. Whether its Baby, Badger or some poor bugger
stuffed into the ball your going to eat them all and your not going
to let anyone stop (or catch) you before you can. So you been working
out sprinting through the cavern between games and even managed to
make yourself a pair of running sandals to avoid anything nasty
underfoot.
Requires:
Score 3 Chow Downs.
Flair:
Running shoes or Sandals
Bonus:
You can now move 6 squares as normal movement instead of 5.
Bonus:
Gain a bonus Die
to all Wiggle Checks
and ignore minor foot hazards like sharp rocks and caltrops.
Pro
Cheat
Deception,
theft and downright dirty deeds are your weapons of choice and lets
be honest you love every moment of it as does the crowd, the referees
may hate you but with your life (and dinner) on the line your willing
to do whatever it takes. Taking inspiration from other dastardly
plotters you've grown quite the impressive moustache and find the
occasional twirl helps you think of all new ways to confound your
fellow Kobolds.
Requires:
Cheat 3 times.
Flair:
A long handlebar moustache.
Bonus:
You ignore 1 Horrible Death Check for been spotted cheating, this
recovers at half time (meaning you can reuse this ability if you
already used it before half time).
To
use this ability the player must pretend to twirl a long handlebar
moustache, cackling is also advised.
Bonus:
You gain an additional bonus VP
for each new way you cheat.
Seasoned
Pro
Some
Kobolds tend to focus on a single role during a Snack Bowl game
(usually eating) but you've shown that if push comes to shove and
your teammates prove useless your going to step in and get things
done. Coach has noticed your hard work and provided you some relaxing
spar treatment or at least that is what he told you, your not sure
how relaxed you are after been sat in a extremely tasty marinade
overnight but your certainly hungry.
Requires:
Own two different Pro Outfits
Flair:
Both flairs of Owned Outfits and a tasty marinade rub down.
Bonus:
You can wear both Pro
Outfits and gain their bonuses and penalties.
Penalty:
That seasoning smells sooo good, gain the bogie –
Taste Like Baby also anyone who
eats you gains 2 + 1d6
additional Hits.
Snack
Bowl Legend
You
done it, you've gone the distance with the eye of Owlbear, you float
like a Beholder and sting like a Stirge or something like that.
Regardless of just how you've managed to reach these lofty heights of
stardom your name and deeds will be remembered in Snack Bowl records
for all time including your future inevitable humourous and
embarrassing death. For now however you plan to live large and eat
well with all the meals and cheer squads you can get your hands on,
enjoying your debauchery while it lasts.
Requires:
Survive 5 games of Snack Bowl and be a Seasoned Pro or Survive
falling all the way into the Horrible Screaming Pit Of Tentacle
Death.
Flair:
Customised Snack Bowl Helmet (3 Armour Hits), this can be worn in
addition to Armour that is not a helmet (no stacking hats). Your own
Snack Bowl collectors card is now worth 4VP
if traded in to any Cave Bazaare Shops but you'll have to spend 8VP
if you want a new one. (This can be stolen or taken from your still
warm corpse). You also keep your Team Jersey if you wish.
Bonus:
For a single VP you may select any item on any of the Sports
Equipment Charts while in the Locker Room though you still take a
Horrible Death Check if you use the Dangerous!
Charts.
Bonus:
Gain
the + Extra
Padding Edge even if you
already have it (yes you chubby Kobolds will roll 2d6
additional Hits).
Bonus:
If you are a Seasoned
Pro you retain your Seasoned
Pro bonuses and penalties, if
you got this outfit by surviving falling all the way into the
Horrible Screaming Pit Of Tentacle Death you instead regain a single
Luck point for each
further game you survive (up to initial starting Luck determined by
your Extraneous stat)
Bonus:
Choose
2 stats to gain +1 Stat Point in as long as your a Snack
Bowl Legend.
Bonus:
You can choose to gain one of the following skills Bully,
Duel, Shoot, Dungeon, Fast or Wiggle.
Should you somehow already possess all these skills (you talented
little Kobold you) pick a skill to gain a bonus Die
in to all its checks, (this does not stack with other Outfit bonus
die and anyone trying to minmax in such a fashion takes a Horrible
Death Check).
Penalty:
Vor
The Big Red Angry God
wants you for his personal star team collection, +1 on the result of
any Horrible Death Check or Chart Roll.
Penalty:
Should you be eaten (& presumably killed) during a Chow Down the
opposing team gains 5 points.
Card
Collector
Usually
a hobby for those simply watching the game, your desire to complete
your collection drove you to take to the pitch retrieving those First
Edition Print cards from around the necks of the players themselves.
After all its a dangerous game and these valuable pieces of Snack
Bowl history would be much safer in your King Torg (ALL HAIL KING
TORG) Certified Snack Bowl Collectors Cardbook tm.
Requires:
Have 5 Snack Bowl collectors cards.
Flair:
You gain a King Torg (ALL HAIL KING TORG) Certified Snack Bowl
Collectors Cardbook tm
(Dam 2, +Ricochet +Bash, -Big)
Bonus:
You
can choose to gain one of the following skills: Fear,
Sage or Bard,
you may also use Sage
once a game without taking a Horrible Death Check (unless the other
players give a thumbs down).
Bonus:
You
gain a Bonus die
in against anyone whose card is in your collection.
Bonus:
If you somehow receive a replica card you can trade this in for 1
addition VP to its
normal worth.
Penalty:
You can't bear to part with your collection and thus unable to trade
unique cards in to any Cave Bazaare Shops and must attempt to recover
your Snack Bowl Collectors Cardbook if you somehow lose it. (If it is
lost permanently somehow you lose the ability to wear this outfit)
Read more »
